Doomed poetic love #3
#2
I'm with you for the first 4 lines. The next 3 feel a bit predictable. The last stage, for me, is relatively unconvincing as the voice feels contrived and the subject matter becomes a lot more flat.

The occasion here presents a very common arc, how to give it a kick of new energy?

I think I see what the poem is reaching for with the final couplet but it's a bit too little too late, the payoff not enough to make the getting there feel worth it rn
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Doomed poetic love #3 - by purplie - Yesterday, 09:11 AM
RE: Doomed poetic love #3 - by matsunosuperfan - Yesterday, 11:35 AM
RE: Doomed poetic love #3 - by busker - Yesterday, 01:44 PM
RE: Doomed poetic love #3 - by purplie - 26 minutes ago



Users browsing this thread: purplie, 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!