in the dream

[addy]

Yeah, billy pretty much has it spot on with a metaphors, though I don't think they're that much of a problem. The reason why they probably stick out in this piece is because since the scenario is a dreamscape, the images should in theory have more freedom to shift and move fluidly without the rigidity of "like" and "as". But still, it's superb.

I especially like how the verses cut even in mid-thought; it really does mimic the shifting perspectives of a dream, where impressions flow without necessary rhyme. i really enjoyed the read