01-05-2011, 11:40 AM
By which I mean not real guilty secrets, like you once killed a man and evaded justice, or robbed a vault in a children's hospice, but stuff like you have a secret obsession with Grandma, We Love You, or don't understand why The Godfather is seen as the best film ever.
Here's mine: I can't f****** stand Victorian literature; Charles Dickens, Henry James, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters... I find it all so goddamn melodramatic, with annoyingly broad characters (i.e. mustache twirling landlords and snarling stepmothers) and obvious motifs (graveyards at night, rattling chains etc.), and paragraphs more flowery than a church in summer. The central offenders are the English, I'm afraid. The rest of Europe and America are fine, but we Brits were a bunch of twazzocks back then. Martin Chuzzlewit? Martin F***wit, more like.
Also, I take Lady Gaga somewhat seriously as an artiste. I know, I know. Just shoot me now and spare me from my misery.
Here's mine: I can't f****** stand Victorian literature; Charles Dickens, Henry James, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters... I find it all so goddamn melodramatic, with annoyingly broad characters (i.e. mustache twirling landlords and snarling stepmothers) and obvious motifs (graveyards at night, rattling chains etc.), and paragraphs more flowery than a church in summer. The central offenders are the English, I'm afraid. The rest of Europe and America are fine, but we Brits were a bunch of twazzocks back then. Martin Chuzzlewit? Martin F***wit, more like.
Also, I take Lady Gaga somewhat seriously as an artiste. I know, I know. Just shoot me now and spare me from my misery.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe