I Continue To Walk (content)

[critical mass]

There is a lot going on here.

Busy, busy, busy.

It's a bit long to hold my attention.
Watch your modifiers to see if they add anything or slow the piece down.

I think this is better suited for prose where you expect to get this involved in the story line. But thats just my opinion. The Raven was longer than this.

Other than that I think you captured the voice and the mood just fine.

David