The Dark Rode (1st revision)

[Leanne]

There is quite a surreal feeling to this poem, though I do get the feeling that the symbols are quite specific and personal to the poet so in that sense, I feel a little as if I'm being closed out of the meaning rather than invited to find something of my own in it. There are ways to open a poem if you'd like, although that's more of a preference thing than an actual fault. Some people like their poems to have a specific, cryptic meaning to be puzzled out

"bespoke" in this context seems out of place -- it's as if the wheel is placing an order for the chance to "turn and churn", which is odd to me. I do like the use of the spoke pun and I'd definitely suggest keeping it in some form -- perhaps something like:

a wheel, outspoken,
turns and churns
ground in its wake

Present tense is immediate (obviously) and helps the reader picture the action/images as they occur, even if they're past (which they will be ). It doesn't work for all poems but I feel this one would benefit, which would mean a couple of other small alterations (rides instead of rode, sinks instead of sank).

I also really like using emboldened and emblazoned, as you pick up some excellent sound repetitions, but I think perhaps they're a little close together to get the full effect. You might like to try:

Emboldened knight
emblazoned with blood

I very much like "into a growing dim", and the last two lines are also really good. It's a very interesting little poem.