10-12-2011, 04:22 AM
This is quite fascinating for such a little poem -- I get similar feelings from a photograph, that frozen moment in time that makes me vaccilate between wondering what else is going on and being grateful for the power to shut it out/ put it away/ stop it happening.
At first I was not keen on all the commas, but now I read them as a rather breathless list, capturing all that's going on in one tiny moment and then the stanza break, the long pause and room for contemplation. The last two lines are quite shiver-inspiring.
At first I was not keen on all the commas, but now I read them as a rather breathless list, capturing all that's going on in one tiny moment and then the stanza break, the long pause and room for contemplation. The last two lines are quite shiver-inspiring.
It could be worse