the language is beautiful, though for me the sans, takes some of it's beauty away. four sans felt too sansy. the hound and the hare is a great simile for the lion and the lamb. the rhyme scheme is good enough not be noticeable. i always thought it was yclept?
The loss of (word of choice here) in the last verse is evident and poignantly so. no need to do a line by, because i enjoyed it all (apart from a couple of sans. this was indeed a poetical piece of poetry, which, when done this well is pretty rare, i too looked up Odovacar then realized who it was when i saw how he was slain.
thanks you for an exercise in how to be poetical.
The loss of (word of choice here) in the last verse is evident and poignantly so. no need to do a line by, because i enjoyed it all (apart from a couple of sans. this was indeed a poetical piece of poetry, which, when done this well is pretty rare, i too looked up Odovacar then realized who it was when i saw how he was slain.
thanks you for an exercise in how to be poetical.