11-26-2011, 09:34 PM
Why is it that every poem reminds me of a song? Yours reminds me of one called 'All Those Yesterdays', but I think your song captures the localalized nostalgia that you are pining for here.
In the second stanza, L1 is dust and ashes needed? I know they are not synonyms, but they are so similar. I will now proceed to rant on you thread as you have been so kind to do on mine :p
It just hit me while I was saying that you were kind of repeating yourself that I used to love certain types of repetition. Like in the creation story after every day the text reads: 'the evening and the morning were the first day'. On some level, I always thought of course they were because of the redundancy, but eventually it grew on me after a while. So, on second thought I like 'ashes and dust'
Overall I think it's a very inspiring read. Thanks for sharing.
grannyjill Wrote:the past fades into misty cloudsA great thought expressed well is priceless! I love this line, but actually to me it's better without 'Then'
elusive, transitory, lost in time
In the second stanza, L1 is dust and ashes needed? I know they are not synonyms, but they are so similar. I will now proceed to rant on you thread as you have been so kind to do on mine :p
It just hit me while I was saying that you were kind of repeating yourself that I used to love certain types of repetition. Like in the creation story after every day the text reads: 'the evening and the morning were the first day'. On some level, I always thought of course they were because of the redundancy, but eventually it grew on me after a while. So, on second thought I like 'ashes and dust'
Overall I think it's a very inspiring read. Thanks for sharing.