How Memories Fade

[grannyjill]

Why is it that every poem reminds me of a song? Yours reminds me of one called 'All Those Yesterdays', but I think your song captures the localalized nostalgia that you are pining for here.

the past fades into misty clouds
elusive, transitory, lost in time

A great thought expressed well is priceless! I love this line, but actually to me it's better without 'Then'

In the second stanza, L1 is dust and ashes needed? I know they are not synonyms, but they are so similar. I will now proceed to rant on you thread as you have been so kind to do on mine :p
It just hit me while I was saying that you were kind of repeating yourself that I used to love certain types of repetition. Like in the creation story after every day the text reads: 'the evening and the morning were the first day'. On some level, I always thought of course they were because of the redundancy, but eventually it grew on me after a while. So, on second thought I like 'ashes and dust'

Overall I think it's a very inspiring read. Thanks for sharing.

I agree on 'then'....it was in, then it wasn't, then it was...but you are my reading public, so I bow to you.....basically the same with dust and ashes...obviously, I stole it from the funeral service which is why it has a kind of biblical presence....I kinda like it too - so it will remain.


I wonder re: poems reminding you of songs, that is where your background lies so you are bound to notice similarities to that source and that is especially so when you realise how difficult it is to come up with something unique (well, for me it is)

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I'm just wondering.. is this poem about nostalgia, or is it about dementia?

In line 5 of the first stanza, there's a comma between "bright" and "flashes". Isn't that comma a little bit out of place there?

At first I thought the second stanza was a bit short and I felt like the poem wasn't really finished yet, but after reading it a few times, I think it's fine as it is.^_^

I don't really have anything else to say, except that I liked the poem, especially the descriptions.^_^

Thank you for the read

Thank you for your helpful input.

When you get older, I think memory fading and dementia appear on the same branch. If the reader has no idea of my age, then it is simply 'memory fading' but if they do they think 'dementia'.

Second stanza a bit short...but, that's because I often write free verse poetry which starts off with a bang..and then I lose momentum! And because I re-wrote the last bit and discovered loads of filler words, and repetitions which didn't add to the poem..so they had to go.

As to quick, bright, flashes...the comma wasn't there when I first wrote this, but I put it there on purpose because I wanted a slight pause so the words would go 'quick' 'bright' 'flash' on the page...like the real thing. But, maybe that doesn't happen.