Playing with a new toy
#14
Jill, it only needs two layers to be poetic really -- and you have a metaphorical layer as well as the literal, so it's just dandy Smile

I don't consider the last lines 'telly' at all, I view them as a summary and think they do their job quite well.
It could be worse
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Messages In This Thread
Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-28-2011, 05:04 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Touchstone - 11-28-2011, 05:56 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-28-2011, 08:43 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Touchstone - 11-28-2011, 09:09 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-28-2011, 09:33 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Touchstone - 11-28-2011, 10:08 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Leanne - 11-29-2011, 04:52 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Touchstone - 11-29-2011, 05:22 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Wildcard - 11-29-2011, 06:55 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-29-2011, 07:21 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Leanne - 11-29-2011, 09:47 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Wildcard - 11-29-2011, 09:56 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-29-2011, 04:34 PM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Leanne - 11-30-2011, 04:21 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by grannyjill - 11-30-2011, 05:20 AM
RE: Playing with a new toy - by Touchstone - 11-30-2011, 06:05 AM



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