11-30-2011, 04:21 AM
Jill, it only needs two layers to be poetic really -- and you have a metaphorical layer as well as the literal, so it's just dandy 
I don't consider the last lines 'telly' at all, I view them as a summary and think they do their job quite well.

I don't consider the last lines 'telly' at all, I view them as a summary and think they do their job quite well.
It could be worse
