loneliness
#2
it feels snow whitish or some other princess type of waiting poem.
i like the enjambment, and reflecting on it's own line.
the sonics are very good and it's easy to read. i'm not sure as i have any constructive feedback to give.
if novice poets could put together a poem like this i don't think i'd call them novice.

i'm not sure the last two lines add anything to the poem. for me they temper the sadness too much.

good write granny. jmo
Reply


Messages In This Thread
loneliness - by grannyjill - 12-11-2011, 07:24 PM
RE: loneliness - by billy - 12-11-2011, 07:50 PM
RE: loneliness - by grannyjill - 12-11-2011, 09:34 PM
RE: loneliness - by billy - 12-11-2011, 10:10 PM
RE: loneliness - by Philatone - 12-17-2011, 08:21 AM
RE: loneliness - by grannyjill - 12-18-2011, 07:05 AM
RE: loneliness - by popeye - 12-18-2011, 12:39 PM
RE: loneliness - by Erthona - 12-18-2011, 02:54 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!