02-10-2012, 08:37 AM 
	
	
	
		Really nice revisions for the most part... though I'm wondering why you've gone with "still rising yet" in S3 L1, seems tautological to me.
Love "dire lament".
And workshopping should be a joint effort, as long as the decision to make changes remains with the originator of the poem. Any suggestions here are freely offered, and you're always free to reject them 
	
	
	
Love "dire lament".
And workshopping should be a joint effort, as long as the decision to make changes remains with the originator of the poem. Any suggestions here are freely offered, and you're always free to reject them
 
	
It could be worse
	

 

