[quote][quote='Serah' pid='91653' dateline='1331094798']
Hey, thanks guys for all the attention on my little Haiku here. Yeah, like I've said before, I've heard that Haiku can now be in different syllable counts, other than the 5-7-5 that i learned 6 years ago. No matter....I just use the Haiku for my writer's block or for a simple challenge of trying to paint a snap shot picture in the readers head about nature. If it is other than nature, it is then called a senrye. [/quote] senryu
[quote]Ok, Billy:
Snow does indeed sparkle! I've seen it with my own eyes...when the sun catches it at a certain time of day, and at night, by the moon light or the porch light or a street lamp. Guess you don't get out much in the snow, eh? LOL[/quote] i'm from the uk where it snows every year and in some places all year. guess i just see through different eyes is all
[quote]The line: Prepare me for birth....was the punch line, if you will.....for me, it was the Winter Soil speaking....[/quote]That's what makes it a senryu, soil doesn't talk you're giving it an attribute it doesn't have. where as in a senryu it's possible to give speech to something without a mouth, in a haiku it's very uncommon if at all.
[quote]But I do understand your point and thank you for that suggestion, but like Dale mentioned....it would mess up the 5-7-5 count and I started with that and I'm sticking to it....like gum to the pavement! : )
[/quote]messing up the count...forgive me, it wasn't my intention to mess it up
from wiki
The best-known Japanese haiku is Bashō's "old pond":
古池や蛙飛込む水の音
ふるいけやかわずとびこむみずのおと (transliterated into 17 hiragana)
furuike ya kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto (transliterated into romaji)
This separates into on as:
fu-ru-i-ke ya (5)
ka-wa-zu to-bi-ko-mu (7)
mi-zu no o-to (5)
Translated:[20]
old pond . . .
a frog leaps in
water’s sound
Another haiku by Bashō:[21]
初しぐれ猿も小蓑をほしげ也
はつしぐれさるもこみのをほしげなり
hatsu shigure saru mo komino wo hoshige nari
the first cold shower
even the monkey seems to want
a little coat of straw
This haiku by Bashō[21] illustrates that he was not always constrained to a 5-7-5 on pattern. It contains 18 on in the pattern 6-7-5.
富士の風や扇にのせて江戸土産
ふじのかぜやおゝぎにのせてえどみやげ
fuji no kaze ya ōgi ni nosete Edo miyage
the wind of Mt. Fuji
I've brought on my fan!
a gift from Edo
This haiku by Issa[22] illustrates that 17 Japanese on do not always equate to 17 English syllables ("nan" counts as two on and "nonda" as three.)
江戸の雨何石呑んだ時鳥
えどのあめなんごくのんだほとゝぎす
edo no ame nan goku nonda hototogisu
how many gallons
of Edo's rain did you drink?
cuckoo
just a couple of ideas as to how haiku translates.
Hey, thanks guys for all the attention on my little Haiku here. Yeah, like I've said before, I've heard that Haiku can now be in different syllable counts, other than the 5-7-5 that i learned 6 years ago. No matter....I just use the Haiku for my writer's block or for a simple challenge of trying to paint a snap shot picture in the readers head about nature. If it is other than nature, it is then called a senrye. [/quote] senryu
[quote]Ok, Billy:
Snow does indeed sparkle! I've seen it with my own eyes...when the sun catches it at a certain time of day, and at night, by the moon light or the porch light or a street lamp. Guess you don't get out much in the snow, eh? LOL[/quote] i'm from the uk where it snows every year and in some places all year. guess i just see through different eyes is all
[quote]The line: Prepare me for birth....was the punch line, if you will.....for me, it was the Winter Soil speaking....[/quote]That's what makes it a senryu, soil doesn't talk you're giving it an attribute it doesn't have. where as in a senryu it's possible to give speech to something without a mouth, in a haiku it's very uncommon if at all.
[quote]But I do understand your point and thank you for that suggestion, but like Dale mentioned....it would mess up the 5-7-5 count and I started with that and I'm sticking to it....like gum to the pavement! : )
[/quote]messing up the count...forgive me, it wasn't my intention to mess it up
from wiki
The best-known Japanese haiku is Bashō's "old pond":
古池や蛙飛込む水の音
ふるいけやかわずとびこむみずのおと (transliterated into 17 hiragana)
furuike ya kawazu tobikomu mizu no oto (transliterated into romaji)
This separates into on as:
fu-ru-i-ke ya (5)
ka-wa-zu to-bi-ko-mu (7)
mi-zu no o-to (5)
Translated:[20]
old pond . . .
a frog leaps in
water’s sound
Another haiku by Bashō:[21]
初しぐれ猿も小蓑をほしげ也
はつしぐれさるもこみのをほしげなり
hatsu shigure saru mo komino wo hoshige nari
the first cold shower
even the monkey seems to want
a little coat of straw
This haiku by Bashō[21] illustrates that he was not always constrained to a 5-7-5 on pattern. It contains 18 on in the pattern 6-7-5.
富士の風や扇にのせて江戸土産
ふじのかぜやおゝぎにのせてえどみやげ
fuji no kaze ya ōgi ni nosete Edo miyage
the wind of Mt. Fuji
I've brought on my fan!
a gift from Edo
This haiku by Issa[22] illustrates that 17 Japanese on do not always equate to 17 English syllables ("nan" counts as two on and "nonda" as three.)
江戸の雨何石呑んだ時鳥
えどのあめなんごくのんだほとゝぎす
edo no ame nan goku nonda hototogisu
how many gallons
of Edo's rain did you drink?
cuckoo
just a couple of ideas as to how haiku translates.