Half a goodbye

[billy]

V. 3 complete rewrite
title changed


To and From

In your palm, a ticket curled
as the terminal grew
larger than any window in the car.

The boarding pass, wrinkled,
bore our last name
above the couplet

To and From,
words that part
and bring together

the way an airport
can fill or empty the back seat.
Those six letters let you fly

alone, the first time,
next to a sleeping mother
whose son whispers lyrics i like this stanza a lot i'm not sure how old the person is but i get a feel it's young, yet old enough to travel

beside her. To your left,
an aisle filled in Queens
will file away in Texas.

It takes only twenty steps
to reach the door,
1,500 miles away and this one, it has a finality

from where it last opened,
near the full garage
where we parked and smiled,

the checkpoint
where, glancing back,
you walked out of view.

hi Geoff, brave edit and one that for me improves the piece 5 fold. now i can identify with the loss, or a loss, (it could just be how i see it). the enjambment feels more adept, though for me;

the way an airport
can fill or empty the back seat.
Those six letters let you fly
would work better as;
the way an airport can fill
or empty the back seat.
Those six letters let you fly

like a fool i read dale's crit, and have to say he made a valid point. (for me) . if i were yu which of course i'm not, i'd try and add some more solidity and replace a couple of less profound lines such as;

above the couplet

To and From,
overall i think you did a great job in turning the poem round.
thanks for the edit.