03-21-2012, 09:59 AM
dale
i think i've gotten the substance to show a little more, but if you feel it is still lacking to a degree I would love to know. I tried to ensure every detail is crucial and integral to the meaning. thanks for your eye and your time
bronte
thank you for your time and suggestions, I hope I have salvaged the poem at least to some degree in your eyes. the idea of a rewrite was the strongest I could have had for the piece, though I had little planning on how much the idea of the piece would change (which comes with rewriting I suppose). I hope that the substance has increased a bit, though it is probably my weakest area in writing, with others in a close second. thanks for your time
billy
your suggestion for that stanza was great. thanks for the critiques on both; always valuable feedback.
abu
i hope the stanzas have justified themselves; I'd prefer not to do paragraph though I can certainly see elements that, if adjusted, could work that way. I'm glad you like the tone, and am gladder to have your thoughts. thank you
i think i've gotten the substance to show a little more, but if you feel it is still lacking to a degree I would love to know. I tried to ensure every detail is crucial and integral to the meaning. thanks for your eye and your time
bronte
thank you for your time and suggestions, I hope I have salvaged the poem at least to some degree in your eyes. the idea of a rewrite was the strongest I could have had for the piece, though I had little planning on how much the idea of the piece would change (which comes with rewriting I suppose). I hope that the substance has increased a bit, though it is probably my weakest area in writing, with others in a close second. thanks for your time
billy
your suggestion for that stanza was great. thanks for the critiques on both; always valuable feedback.
abu
i hope the stanzas have justified themselves; I'd prefer not to do paragraph though I can certainly see elements that, if adjusted, could work that way. I'm glad you like the tone, and am gladder to have your thoughts. thank you
Written only for you to consider.