my fix is cheeses

[Magpie]

I am an addict
cheddar, stilton, emmental
my fix is cheeses.

[cidermaid]

Made me smile but I thought the end line was too obvious.
perhaps something to link the process or phisical aspects of cheese.
Maybe a play on words : cased in bacteria
(Casein being a milk protein)
i love cheese...might need to go eat some now.
AJ.

[Magpie]

Made me smile but I thought the end line was too obvious.
perhaps something to link the process or phisical aspects of cheese.
Maybe a play on words : cased in bacteria
(Casein being a milk protein)
i love cheese...might need to go eat some now.
AJ.

Hi AJ,
This was more of humorous reactionary thread, to another thread at the time, although when I first posted it in my efforts to not want to spoil the marvellously wonderful witty punchline I foolishly called it "I am an Addict" and it remained like that on the main page for about an hour before it dawned on me that it looked more like a confession in a self help group.
But now that you've mentioned it there are possibilities, I did think that the word emmental is a gift with a few possibilities.
But it's back to nature Haiku for me, I strayed from the righteous path but now I must return.

[Malu]

I am an addict
cheddar, stilton, emmental
my fix is cheeses.

Having the last line also be the title gives it away. By all means stick with it, most songs are named for a line or significant word/phrase form it. I would just suggest making the last line more open to interpretation by changing it up a little, and possibly think of a more clever title. Hope this helps! Good poem and thanks for the read