Parachuting

[ChristopherSea]

This makes poem makes skydiving look a lot more appealing to me. Very nice image and a sensual piece!

[billy]

it's pretty sensual in a psychedelic sort of way really :J:

[btrudo]

Lingerie billows
in descent to ecstasy
amidst perfumed whirl

If you are trying for the Japanese essence, you probably want to avoid words like ecstasy--the image and juxtapositions should bring about the emotion. Also the action isn't crisply worded, though right now, I can't write anything remotely in the spirit needed for this, so I can't really offer another look into this.

[Bunx]

it's pretty sensual in a psychedelic sort of way really :J:

agreed, i pictured an aura of perfume streaking, north lights-esk, behind the girl falling.
cool poem
psychedelic even!

[Malu]

Lingerie billows
in descent to ecstasy
amidst perfumed whirl

Very sensual indeed, I particularly liked how you stayed true to the 5-7-5 syllable template, but I recently learned it is more about the content. So for this poem the content is very good and I enjoyed it, but you don't have to restrict yourself to fulfilling that 17 syllable count. Unless that is your goal, much like myself at least haha. All in all a good read, thanks!