July Swamp

[Ian James]

Disparaging groans
Of amphibious orgy
Gently flood the wood

[billy]

great effort Ian

a decent senryu, a suggestion would be

groans
flood the wood
amphibious orgy

in order to make it a tighter image and haiku

[Ian James]

thank you thank you. I feel the suspense of the experience through healthier veins in your arrangement! much obliged. economy of language is the facet I am actively trying to Improve upon so taking to a short form medium I feel awkward in, and receiving help is really cool.

[billy]

thank you for not shouting at me for rearranging :J:

with three lines it's pretty easy to move them about till you get a two part image.
it only worked because of the words you put up

[Keith]

Ooo I like it you can hear the sound rising with the flood water and its great to see such a positive approach to using the site. best TOMH

[Malu]

Disparaging groans
Of amphibious orgy
Gently flood the wood

I like this poem, the fact that you portrayed an orgy as gentle was a interesting concept. Good poem and thanks for the read