Samadhi

[Vistaldust]

Deep Ujiayi breath,
exhaling colorless worlds
-then Enlightenment.

[Leanne]

Gosh that's pretty. It's exotic and tranquil.

I wonder if there might be a better word than 'then' for the last line... I was thinking along the lines of 'breathe Enlightenment' but that's probably too cheesy, which is why I don't write 'ku

[billy]

okay, i had to use google, i admit it

i'm with leanne on removing the 'then'.

great senryu.

[Vistaldust]

Thanks for the critiques, you bodhisattvas. By the way, I had to google senryu.

[Vistaldust]

Thanks, fogglethorpe. I agree that few words as possible to express intent is important. It's a fine line.