Spiky Friend

[Volaticus]

Leafy burrow -
hedgehog yawns;
arousing spring.

[cidermaid]

Hi,

I am growing to look forward to your offerings in this form. You have a lovely touch and eye for these I feel.
On this one I personally think that perhaps you do not need "Friend" in the title, as spiky could be said to relate to all three lines but not so much the other two. JMHO

All the best AJ.

[billy]

i do like the hedgehog yawns line. captures the end of hibernation in a great way.

[Magpie]

Another great image here, and the yawn is a perfect touch that says so much with just one word. As regards the title, I know different people will have different opinions as is always the case with haiku, but I don't think they should have titles and without a title yours doesn't lose anything at all. In some ways I think it could perhaps say more without a title. jmho
Very good poem. Thanks
Mark

[Volaticus]

Hi,

I am growing to look forward to your offerings in this form. You have a lovely touch and eye for these I feel.
On this one I personally think that perhaps you do not need "Friend" in the title, as spiky could be said to relate to all three lines but not so much the other two. JMHO

All the best AJ.

Hi AJ,
Thank you so much for your very kind and encouraging feedback. It means a lot to me.
I appreciate your opinion on the title. I think I'll leave it as it is though, and then stop titling these kinds of poems in the future. I'm beginning to see the meaning in not having a title for these poems.
Thanks so much again.
My best,
Louise

---

i do like the hedgehog yawns line. captures the end of hibernation in a great way.

Thanks a lot, billy. I appreciate it

---

Another great image here, and the yawn is a perfect touch that says so much with just one word. As regards the title, I know different people will have different opinions as is always the case with haiku, but I don't think they should have titles and without a title yours doesn't lose anything at all. In some ways I think it could perhaps say more without a title. jmho
Very good poem. Thanks
Mark

Hi Mark,
I really appreciate your kind words on my poem
About the title.. I'm starting to see the meaning, when people say that these poems doesn't need a title. I think, like you also said yourself, that perhaps the poems could stand stronger without a title.
You mentioned haiku. To be honest, I know very little about the form. I know that you don't have to stick to a fixed amount of syllables. I know it needs a sharp image. And that it needs a seasonal reference. That's about what I know. I really just try to write a short poem in three lines, and somehow it seems to end up as a haiku, since people keep mentioning haiku when I post my short poems. I think I need to read up on my haiku
Again, thanks a lot for commenting, it is much appreciated.
My best,
Louise

[R.C. KITCHENS]

Leafy burrow -
hedgehog yawns;
arousing spring.

I agree the "hedgehog yawn's" makes for a great image of arousing spring. Good read.

[Volaticus]

I agree the "hedgehog yawn's" makes for a great image of arousing spring. Good read.

Hi R.C.
Thanks a lot for commenting, I'm glad you enjoyed the read
Best,
LB

[Malu]

Hi,

I am growing to look forward to your offerings in this form. You have a lovely touch and eye for these I feel.
On this one I personally think that perhaps you do not need "Friend" in the title, as spiky could be said to relate to all three lines but not so much the other two. JMHO

All the best AJ.

I agree with this feedback, you could remove friend from the title, that way it makes the reader think more about the connection and relationship you have, nice poem!

[Volaticus]

I agree with this feedback, you could remove friend from the title, that way it makes the reader think more about the connection and relationship you have, nice poem!

Thanks for commenting.