Poetry Forum › Poetry Forum › Haiku, Senryu, Short Form Poetry.
Haiku (August 2013)

Haiku (August 2013)
Volaticus Offline
Short Bread
********
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
#1
08-26-2013, 12:25 PM

golden feathers
nesting eggs
fox on the prowl
Reply
ChristopherSea Offline
Rat Catcher
**********
Posts: 845
Threads: 57
Joined: Aug 2013
#2
08-26-2013, 07:41 PM
Hopefully your golden fowl returns to mother those eggs! I like it.
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
Reply
Volaticus Offline
Short Bread
********
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
#3
08-27-2013, 07:06 AM
I really hope so too. I'm glad you like it, thanks for commenting.
Reply
billy Offline
Are you alluding to me?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
#4
08-27-2013, 07:42 AM
can't see how i'd improve it, i'm assuming nesting is the seasonal word.

good job
Poetic Devices *** Why Read Poetry? *** Poetry Tips
Reply
Volaticus Offline
Short Bread
********
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
#5
08-27-2013, 09:23 AM
Hi billy, thanks a lot for commenting.
Reply
FayandFire Offline
Junior Member
**
Posts: 15
Threads: 3
Joined: May 2013
#6
08-27-2013, 09:54 AM
Because your last haiku/ senryu was based on Edward scisorhands, I instantly saw this as Charlie and the Chocolate factory. I'm taking by the fox on the prowl I was absolutely wrong. Anyways I enjoy reading your short forms. Thanks for the read.
Reply
Volaticus Offline
Short Bread
********
Posts: 280
Threads: 42
Joined: Mar 2013
#7
08-28-2013, 08:13 AM
Many thanks, FayandFire. Now that you mention it, I do see some Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in the two first lines.

golden tickets
chocolate bars
kids on the prowl

Best,
LB
Reply




Users browsing this thread:
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!