Impotent

[Nick]

I want to write something up
But not uppity

(80,000 dead, so far, in Syria's
civil war)

I'd like to write something hopeful
Optimistic

(As new threats continue to emerge
the war on terror encompasses
more of the earth)

I want to write something spiritual
Connected to the Divine

(Various theologies ceaselessly
vie for dominance of the hereafter
right now)

However, as hundreds of thousands starve
(For breakfast I ate a bowl of shredded wheat
with honey on it, two
bananas added and moisted with
organic flax milk)

and as I sit in a two room
wood shack while millions are
refugeed homeless in the deserts,
in the mountains, in the open

and while I write this (in a
world where one third can
neither write nor read)

I find an impassable morass of
perception

A fecund bog of facts
that have me in a position of
privileged peasant

A prole whose best bet is to keep
his mouth shut (his pen still)
lest he get bumped by powers
greater than he will ever be
to the refuse filled gutters of
humanity that are ever being flushed
into the seas of no one cares

[drowningboy]

I'll leave the politics up to you

this isn't the kind of feedback expected in the feedback forums till you have a fair bit of feedback under your belt. /mod

[heslopian]

The concept and stylistic presentation aren't blindingly original, but this is a poem which gets better as it goes. The last couple of verses give a fresh twist to this old theme, where not only is our melancholic narrator impotent, but pressured into impotence lest he be punished. The images conveying your narrator and his world are strong, though a few more could be used to paint the poor, hungry multitudes he alludes to. JMHO. Thank you for the read

[Nick]

The concept and stylistic presentation aren't blindingly original, but this is a poem which gets better as it goes. The last couple of verses give a fresh twist to this old theme, where not only is our melancholic narrator impotent, but pressured into impotence lest he be punished. The images conveying your narrator and his world are strong, though a few more could be used to paint the poor, hungry multitudes he alludes to. JMHO. Thank you for the read

Thanks for the comments.