a bee (haiku)

[emerald13]

a bee
backs into another
purple echium

©Gina

[Magpie]

a bee
backs into another
purple echium

©Gina

Hi Gina, I like your Haiku even though I didn't know what an Echium was until I looked it up. But that's one of the things I like about poetry, when I learn new words.
The only thing I would say, although I keep on changing my mind, but I think it may benefit from dropping "another" in the sense that it gives it a shorter time frame so that it is more of an instant snapshot which I think is more powerful. But either way I would still be interested in what your thoughts were about it. I'm haiku crazy at the moment, I love it. Thanks for the read.
Mark

[billy]

nicely done.

great last line. it sort of blames the bush for the backing up.

[gilmored]

i like it, but i can't get passed the "backed in" part. I didn't think bee's flew backwards?