Do you like my poem

[wishes1078]

A picture painted; the life of me
Two pennies and a dollar, from the sweat of flesh
Stale bread; two plates for five
And across the table two things observed
The five voices of faith, the five smiles of hope.
Stale bread no more, a rug on the floor
Playing a game; one doll for three
And Across the rug two things observed
The three laughs of joy, three faces of love
The clock at ten, a rug no more
One room, one bed; one blanket for five
And in that room one thing observed
Five prayers for tomorrow: Two plates for five, one doll for three, one room, one bed, and one blanket for five
But please, for our neighbor; five plates for five, three dolls for three, better room, better bed, and five blankets for five.

[LorettaYoung]

Yes; as one person of faith to another; the things observed holding this together. Loretta

[billy]

A picture painted; the life of me
Two pennies and a dollar, from the sweat of flesh
Stale bread; two plates for five
And across the table two things observed
The five voices of faith, the five smiles of hope.
Stale bread no more, a rug on the floor
Playing a game; one doll for three
And Across the rug two things observed
The three laughs of joy, three faces of love
The clock at ten, a rug no more
One room, one bed; one blanket for five
And in that room one thing observed
Five prayers for tomorrow: Two plates for five, one doll for three, one room, one bed, and one blanket for five
But please, for our neighbor; five plates for five, three dolls for three, better room, better bed, and five blankets for five.

please leave feedback in the main feedback forums before posting poetry/mod

[Erthona]

I don't like your title.

Dale

[tectak]

never mind

What it lacks in duration it makes up for in succinctness. I am unsure about the lack of capitals.
Oh come on. Where's the scleroderma?
tectak.

[milo]

never mind

Nirvana did it better.