Wildcat kind of thrill

[Mwaba don]

Girl, you have that wildcat kind of thrill,
The thrill that stirs up a man’s instinct,
I become still through your thrill and melt,
You instil affection in me till my desire spills.

 
I’ll will pour my cup on you,
That you understand my fouls,
These fouls rooted from my passion for you.

 
Lying awake in bed one breezy afternoon,
Smiling, choking or nagging to cycles of unrelated thought,
At my age! Not right to beat my chest with emotions
So then I awoke to seek attention,
Attention of a more demanding task that is,
A happy face of a cheerful heart.

 

Writing, drinking, music and exercising
Often my remedy from loneliness,
On that day all seemed faded in the absence of splendor which comes from the shinning sun,
But, off the bed, And out of the room
For a walk in the streets.

 

As quite, cloudy and breezy the weather was
It painted a picture of my solitude, loneliness and idleness.

 
  Along the pathway I walked…
And as if the wind had put a weight on my head,
My head was slightly bent forward and my fingers
Hiding in the long sleeves of the jumper.

 
Exciting, that the wind appeared to point at you
Blowing your hair, that my stare mate your gaze
Your eyes spark a thrill in me.

 
I was thrilled that your gaze made chills in my chest,
I was enthralled that you had such power to stir my heart,
Amazed that you had power to cause motion in me,
You captured my attention and gave me a happy face of a cheerful heart.

 

All from your wildcat kind of thrill.

[makeshift]

This first stanza reminded me of something Isaac Hayes might say. Like a monologue off a soul or RnB record. The poems biggest flaw might be that its too wordy. The second stanza had a strong sexual connotation, that I think was intentional? "pour my cup on you" and "my fouls" particularly. All the sexual stuff relates to the "man's instincts" from the start. If this were my poem I think I would narrow it down to the bare-bones, really figure out what is essential to include in order to communicate what I want to say, then add the nice poetic bits. What I take from your poem, in general, is a sort of primal affection. Something makes me think this one would be better as spoken word then written poetry. Anyway just my 2cents. Thnx for sharing.

[Mwaba don]

This first stanza reminded me of something Isaac Hayes might say. Like a monologue off a soul or RnB record. The poems biggest flaw might be that its too wordy. The second stanza had a strong sexual connotation, that I think was intentional? "pour my cup on you" and "my fouls" particularly. All the sexual stuff relates to the "man's instincts" from the start. If this were my poem I think I would narrow it down to the bare-bones, really figure out what is essential to include in order to communicate what I want to say, then add the nice poetic bits. What I take from your poem, in general, is a sort of primal affection. Something makes me think this one would be better as spoken word then written poetry. Anyway just my 2cents. Thanx for sharing.

Yes, the 2nd stanza was intentional and meant to relate everything to how deep the affection was. At the time or even now i don't think i thought of any other poetic bits. It was totally meant to express deep affection.