Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
feelings fly from me
like static electricity
flowing through the room
bouncing off the glass
and rock wall
rejection
anger
frustration
hurt
are postings horse droppings
manure
poetry and story
cow dung
now frozen in the snow
that doesn't stinketh
anymore?
poems and stories
are personal
I am a boiled beet
flayed open in
the snowy field
©12/14/09
Bianca 
Posts: 805
Threads: 374
Joined: Dec 2009
The ending seems to be a little abrupt, but I still like it. Passionate and poignant.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
i missed this one
nice little rant poem Bianca
sometimes poetry groups can suck big time.
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
thanks, it was a good rant at the time, felt all the better after writing it!
Bianca
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
i've dome more ranters than i care to say
they do make us feel better indeed
Posts: 2,360
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010
I know this post is a little old but I am new here so...
I had to tell you I absolutely loved your ending:
I am a boiled beet
flayed open in
the snowy field
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
Welcome to the page Todd. Glad you liked the last stanza, it's my favorite too.
Bianca
Posts: 41
Threads: 1
Joined: Jun 2010
I loved it ... it was perfect right down to the period.
Now, I may very well have read wrongly into it but this is what I felt ...
I am a boiled beet (hurt and beat down)
flayed open in (left abandon)
the snowy field (snowy white, purity, innocence)
Great rant indeed.
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
yes, you read it right Kath - putting it mildly.
perfect take on my feelings.
At the time I wrote it I was more "murdered" by my fellow poets though.
So I had been killed and looked like liver when you cook it and also beets
and I was the innocent one out there, due to people's coldness.
(the background
I posted a story that was new, very dear to me, around Christmas time about my family buying a real live Christmas tree and the events. My father and brother had died and my remembrance of that time in my life was a jewel and I shared it with the group. (I trusted them with my family, my jewels) And the group did not even make one single comment about the story even though it was a time when others were posting stories and getting feedback. It was awful.
Bianca
Posts: 41
Threads: 1
Joined: Jun 2010
(10-21-2010, 12:46 AM)Bianca Alabaster Wrote: yes, you read it right Kath - putting it mildly.
perfect take on my feelings.
At the time I wrote it I was more "murdered" by my fellow poets though.
So I had been killed and looked like liver when you cook it and also beets
and I was the innocent one out there, due to people's coldness.
(the background I posted a story that was new, very dear to me, around Christmas time about my family buying a real live Christmas tree and the events. My father and brother had died and my remembrance of that time in my life was a jewel and I shared it with the group. (I trusted them with my family, my jewels) And the group did not even make one single comment about the story even though it was a time when others were posting stories and getting feedback. It was awful.
Ouch! I'm sorry for your experience.
Great title ... "
Silent Critics"
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
thanks, maybe I'll post the short story at Christmas time. Glad you liked the title. it fit well atm
Bianca
Posts: 110
Threads: 31
Joined: May 2010
thanks, I love your picture/photo of the lion you have
Bianca
