A Fox in Disguise

[WildMel]

It happened too quickly

A smudge of soft fur

A wild animal

Of that I was sure

A streak of orange

that just flew by

The blur in my eyes

A fox in disguise

I now had to find

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost

Slipping on faith

and holding the glimpse

Of the orange little prophet

That I’d just barely missed

So after my searching,

Off the old beaten trail

I spot an orange cat

With a fox-like tail.



Hi everyone! New to the forum and really excited to get back into reading and writing poetry!! This is an old poem I wrote before my life took some interesting turning points, and I was looking for "signs" from everything.

[rowens]

It happened too quickly

A smudge of soft fur

A wild animal

Of that I was sure

A streak of orange

that just flew by

The blur in my eyes

A fox in disguise

I now had to find

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost



Slipping on faith


The Slipping on faith almost makes up for the line above it. Almost.



and holding the glimpse

Of the orange little prophet

That I’d just barely missed

So after my searching,

Off the old beaten trail

I spot an orange cat

With a fox-like tail.


The here-and-there rhyming isn't so bad in a poem like this. 

[vagabond]

It happened too quickly

A smudge of soft fur

A wild animal

Of that I was sure

A streak of orange

that just flew by

The blur in my eyes

A fox in disguise

I now had to find

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost

Slipping on faith

and holding the glimpse

Of the orange little prophet

That I’d just barely missed

So after my searching,

Off the old beaten trail

I spot an orange cat

With a fox-like tail.



Hi everyone!  New to the forum and really excited to get back into reading and writing poetry!!  This is an old poem I wrote before my life took some interesting turning points, and I was looking for "signs" from everything.

Hello!
I think your statement that you were looking for signs from everything at some point in your life explains the message of your poem. maybe there would be a way to include it in the poem.
but that´s just me, maybe it´s better unexplained.
anyway, the ending gave me a smile.
greetings

[WildMel]

Hello!
I think your statement that you were looking for signs from everything at some point in your life explains the message of your poem. maybe there would be a way to include it in the poem.
but that´s just me, maybe it´s better unexplained.
anyway, the ending gave me a smile.
greetings


Thanks! I tried to express it in the lines:

"I now had to find

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost"

but perhaps it was a bit ambiguous.

[WildMel]

It happened too quickly

A smudge of soft fur

A wild animal

Of that I was sure

A streak of orange

that just flew by

The blur in my eyes

A fox in disguise

I now had to find

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost



Slipping on faith


The Slipping on faith almost makes up for the line above it. Almost.



and holding the glimpse

Of the orange little prophet

That I’d just barely missed

So after my searching,

Off the old beaten trail

I spot an orange cat

With a fox-like tail.


The here-and-there rhyming isn't so bad in a poem like this. 

Thanks for the feedback! I agree about that line

[rowens]

I knew it had meaning 
to this world where I’m lost
Slipping on faith 
and holding the glimpse
Of the orange little prophet
That I’d just barely missed




A word changed and a few taken away could do something. Especially the first words of some of the lines. 

[billy]

what out for wordiness, do the caps on every lines add anything to the poem. i've pointed out some line but there are more. watch out when you use a word more than once, it usually detracts from a poem. there are a few more problems but i'll let others point them out.

It happened too quickly

A smudge of soft fur

A wild animal

Of that I was sure is this line needed?

A streak of orange

that just flew by

The blur in my eyes  is this and the line above needed?

A fox in disguise

I now had to find  no need for now as it's a given

this little sleek fox

I knew it had meaning

to this world where I’m lost

Slipping on faith

and holding the glimpse

Of the orange little prophet

That I’d just barely missed

So after my searching,

Off the old beaten trail

I spot an orange cat

With a fox-like tail.



Hi everyone!  New to the forum and really excited to get back into reading and writing poetry!!  This is an old poem I wrote before my life took some interesting turning points, and I was looking for "signs" from everything.