In the Beginning

[Erthona]

In the Beginning
 
Mosaic 1
my first
browser
so much
better than
Veronica 2
 
 
–Erthona

1. Mosaic, is the web browser credited with popularizing the World Wide Web. Released in 1993.
2. Veronica was a search engine system for the Gopher protocol, developed in 1992 by Steven Foster and Fred Barrie at the University of Nevada, Reno.
 
 
©2015

[Leah S.]

I've just gone and rewritten a bunch of my haiku based on this forum topic. I found myself ruthlessly cutting words. I think in this haiku you need an emotion word that connects the two subjects. It'll be tough, because you have to imply nostalgia and disappointment together. It also occurred to me that you could eliminate the names (that need explanation) and just go with "my first browser." You could just use "this" to refer to the search engine you despise.... as in the well known phrase "....better than this!"
It did make me smile. Have you looked up the funny computer haiku on the internet?

"Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank."

-- Ian Hughes

[Erthona]

Leah,

Thanks for giving it a read and leaving comments, the thing is, is this is not a Haiku.
It is over three lines, it does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable count, there is also no kireji or kigo.

If you notice the forum title, it denotes the three types of poetry that may be posted here, the third is "Short Form Poetry."

It's OK, most people who are new to the site tend to make the same assumption. In the future I would suggest seeing if it has the basics; three lines and a 5-7-5 syllable count, or the writer states it is a haiku or senryu. If the poem does not meet either of those two requirements I suggest you treat it as a short form poem.

As to one of your comments that does not rely on this being a haiku, that is not using the names. The names are there for a very specific reason. That reason is to support the sexual innuendo, which is primarily why the poem was written. I thought that would be fairly obvious but apparently not.

Thanks for your comments,


Dale

[ellajam]

Leah,

Thanks for giving it a read and leaving comments, the thing is, is this is not a Haiku.
It is over three lines, it does not follow the 5-7-5 syllable count, there is also no kireji or kigo.

If you notice the forum title, it denotes the three types of poetry that may be posted here, the third is "Short Form Poetry."

It's OK, most people who are new to the site tend to make the same assumption. In the future I would suggest seeing if it has the basics; three lines and a 5-7-5 syllable count, or the writer states it is a haiku or senryu. If the poem does not meet either of those two requirements I suggest you treat it as a short form poem.

As to one of your comments that does not rely on this being a haiku, that is not using the names. The names are there for a very specific reason. That reason is to support the sexual innuendo, which is primarily why the poem was written. I thought that would be fairly obvious but apparently not.

Thanks for your comments,


Dale

Hi, Dale. Unfortunately, I still can't give you anything on the poem, I didn't jump on the internet until later than that and I think there may be more effective ways to express the thought.

I do want to comment on your explanation of this forum. In the important threads billy defines it just as you do, for all short pieces. He also asks that it not be assumed to be haiku unless the poet calls it that and adds in his definition of modern haiku that 5/7/5 is not a requirement. There are many threads around the site discussing modern haiku, here's one of them.

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-5432.html

[Erthona]

Oh well time has passed me by


Ah Billy and I agree once again. Good for him


dale

[Magpie]

In the Beginning
 
Mosaic 1
my first
browser
so much
better than
Veronica 2
 
 
–Erthona

1. Mosaic, is the web browser credited with popularizing the World Wide Web. Released in 1993.
2. Veronica was a search engine system for the Gopher protocol, developed in 1992 by Steven Foster and Fred Barrie at the University of Nevada, Reno.
 
 
©2015

Hi Dale, I've read this through many times now and at first when I read it my mind just went blank (I'm sure I also read it before you added the explanations of the two names) Although now a day or so later, I am reading it and I am seeing so many different possibilities of what your intentions may have been and also I think I may have  added a few also, not intentionally.
I know that you have already mentioned about the names and the sexual innuendo, but as well as this I'm getting a very religious feeling from it firstly because of the title which is definitely a biblical reference, I'm even starting to think now that it may actually be the first words in Genesis.

As regards the names, I did know a little bit about the name Veronica as I was, (seemingly for my sins) raised as a Catholic, and also it is my Mothers middle name and Catholics don't hand out middle names without knowing the score first. So, "The popular "Saint Veronica" traditionally was a pious woman who wiped the face of Christ when he fell carrying the cross to Calvary. The image of his face remained on the cloth, and what became known as the "veil of Veronica" has been preserved in Rome from the 8c. However when you realise that the etymology of her name derives from Latin "vera" meaning "true" + Greek "eikon" meaning "image." thus Veronica meaning True Image then the chronology of events don't seem to make sense. How can she have been called "True Image" before she wiped the face of Christ which subsequently caused what Christians referred to as the True Image of Christ on the cloth.

I could go on with my theory about mosaic and it's biblical connection Moses and in some senses an even "Truer Image", but just in case I'm a million miles away from where I should be after reading the poem then I'll just leave it there for the moment.

Even if I am totally wrong I have still nevertheless enjoyed the journey of discovery that I was taken on by your poem, thanks for the read.

Mark

[ellajam]

In the Beginning
 
Mosaic 1
my first
browser
so much
better than
Veronica 2
 
 
–Erthona

1. Mosaic, is the web browser credited with popularizing the World Wide Web. Released in 1993.
2. Veronica was a search engine system for the Gopher protocol, developed in 1992 by Steven Foster and Fred Barrie at the University of Nevada, Reno.
 
 
©2015

Hi Dale, I've read this through many times now and at first when I read it my mind just went blank (I'm sure I also read it before you added the explanations of the two names) Although now a day or so later, I am reading it and I am seeing so many different possibilities of what your intentions may have been and also I think I may have  added a few also, not intentionally.
I know that you have already mentioned about the names and the sexual innuendo, but as well as this I'm getting a very religious feeling from it firstly because of the title which is definitely a biblical reference, I'm even starting to think now that it may actually be the first words in Genesis.

As regards the names, I did know a little bit about the name Veronica as I was, (seemingly for my sins) raised as a Catholic, and also it is my Mothers middle name and Catholics don't hand out middle names without knowing the score first. So, "The popular "Saint Veronica" traditionally was a pious woman who wiped the face of Christ when he fell carrying the cross to Calvary. The image of his face remained on the cloth, and what became known as the "veil of Veronica" has been preserved in Rome from the 8c. However when you realise that the etymology of her name derives from Latin "vera" meaning "true" + Greek "eikon" meaning "image." thus Veronica meaning True Image then the chronology of events don't seem to make sense. How can she have been called "True Image" before she wiped the face of Christ which subsequently caused what Christians referred to as the True Image of Christ on the cloth.

I could go on with my theory about mosaic and it's biblical connection Moses and in some senses an even "Truer Image", but just in case I'm a million miles away from where I should be after reading the poem then I'll just leave it there for the moment.

Even if I am totally wrong I have still nevertheless enjoyed the journey of discovery that I was taken on by your poem, thanks for the read.

Mark

Poetry is so much fun.
It's so great to be on a site where people post so many things I never even consider. Thanks, guys.

[tectak]

In the Beginning
 
Mosaic 1
my first
browser
so much
better than
Veronica 2
 
 
–Erthona

1. Mosaic, is the web browser credited with popularizing the World Wide Web. Released in 1993.
2. Veronica was a search engine system for the Gopher protocol, developed in 1992 by Steven Foster and Fred Barrie at the University of Nevada, Reno.
 
 
©2015

You are a dirty old man and should take pills to curb your sexual fantasies....and what is more this poem is so full of innuendo it is like an Italian suppository taken orally and I get it on many levels. So there. Comma after mosaic, semicolon after browser.
Best,
tectak

[Erthona]

Thanks Tom for the punctuation corrections. Please don't disappear I couldn't write without you. I mean that sincerely, you keep me on the straight and narrow. Yes, I know I am a dirty old man, my body's gone, so the only place I can play is in my mind.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Mark,

Most of my poem have more than one level or layer. In this one there is the obvious superficial talking about how mosaic is so much better than Veronica, which was the truth, before mosaic there was no easy way to get to information that was on the world wide web. You generally had to know the address of the thing you were looking for. Veronica made it easier but it still took a lot of time to find anything and any number of resources would be bypassed simply because you didn't know they were there. At the second level is the sexual innuendo. At the third level there are some Biblical connections although probably not to the depth you have taken it, although it is often true that I have looked back on poems of mine ten years latter and found things that there was no way I knew about at that time, but there they are. So Biblically speaking what was on my mind as I wrote this or on the periphery of my mind, was yes, Moses-->Prophet-->Guide-->Magician, and writer of the Torah except the last few lines of Deuteronomy, thus it would have been Moses who wrote the words of Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." So yes, there is that connection, plus I suspect the person, or persons who decided on the name of the browser had Moses in mind, and possibly the fact that the Torah is actually a mosaic of many different authors over many hundreds of years. However, although you make an excellent case for Veronica, to connect the name to the Biblical Veronica was never in my mind when writing this. I understand the connection with the name, but I cannot make any kind of connection from it to the other Biblical part of the poem. However I must congratulate you on finding the Biblical connection, most would not see that I suspect. If I had the time I would discuss this more in terms of Blake (the fourfold view) or the Arabian/Sufi code poems, but I am pressed.

Thanks for giving it a read.

Dale

[tectak]

Thanks Tom for the punctuation corrections. Please don't disappear I couldn't write without you. I mean that sincerely, you keep me on the straight and narrow. Yes, I know I am a dirty old man, my body's gone, so the only place I can play is in my mind.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Mark,

Most of my poem have more than one level or layer. In this one there is the obvious superficial talking about how mosaic is so much better than Veronica, which was the truth, before mosaic there was no easy way to get to information that was on the world wide web. You generally had to know the address of the thing you were looking for. Veronica made it easier but it still took a lot of time to find anything and any number of resources would be bypassed simply because you didn't know they were there. At the second level is the sexual innuendo. At the third level there are some Biblical connections although probably not to the depth you have taken it, although it is often true that I have looked back on poems of mine ten years latter and found things that there was no way I knew about at that time, but there they are. So Biblically speaking what was on my mind as I wrote this or on the periphery of my mind, was yes, Moses-->Prophet-->Guide-->Magician, and writer of the Torah except the last few lines of  Deuteronomy, thus it would have been Moses who wrote the words of Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." So yes, there is that connection, plus I suspect the person, or persons who decided on the name of the browser had Moses in mind, and possibly the fact that the Torah is actually a mosaic of many different authors over many hundreds of years. However, although you make an excellent case for Veronica, to connect the name to the Biblical Veronica was never in my mind when writing this. I understand the connection with the name, but I cannot make any kind of connection from it to the other Biblical part of the poem. However I must congratulate you on finding the Biblical connection, most would not see that I suspect. If I had the time I would discuss this more in terms of Blake (the fourfold view) or the Arabian/Sufi code poems, but I am pressed.

Thanks for giving it a read.

Dale

Play time, then....sounds good to me. Thinking is the best way to travel. Moody Blues.
Do Not Stop Writing....your last period will be a coma.
Best,
Tom

[Magpie]

Dale,

I'm quite relieved that I wasn't a million miles away in my interpretation of your poem. A year ago I would have read the same poem and went away none the wiser, so I suppose my time on this site has taught me a lot about giving poems time to sink in and also about research.
As regards my connection between veronica (Saint Veronica) and mosaic (Moses), I didn't have any absolute connection as such, I was somewhat improvising as I went along and hoping that at some point a connection would appear. I was kind of going with something along the lines of ancient relics and their relevance and importance to the overall whole. My mistake was presuming that 'veronica' would also have a biblical connection once I had seen the biblical reference with 'mosaic'.
I agree with you that the person or persons who named 'mosaic' had Moses in mind although I have found no reference to this anywhere. I was wondering about where the name 'veronica' came from and I've just found out that the name for what is believed to have been the first search engine was 'archie', this name was simply derived from the word 'archive', however some people thought the name came from 'Archie Comics' and thus two subsequent search engines 'veronica' and 'jughead' were named after characters from Archie Comics as a kind of homage to the original.

Once again, thank you for the read.

Mark

[Erthona]

Mark,

Yes, "Archie Comics" were very popular in America when I was growing up. Am I right to suspect that you did not know about Archie comics where you're from? It seems as though they might beat you on the head with a table leg if they caught you reading such girlie trash.

One of the things I was thinking was the idea that a mosaic is composed of many different tiles to form a single picture, but that also fits with Moses as he is the metaphorical stand-in for all the unknown authors who actually wrote the Torah, so there is also that angle. The browser was much the same way as it combine many different aspect that until that moment had been separate things, that now formed a mosaic. Unfortunately the intention of the poem seems to have failed. So we'll file thirteen it. 

Anyway, good discussion, I've enjoyed it.

Dale

[bena]

You forgot all about Al Gore. It's funny, people joke about his claim to 'inventing the internet' (which he himself never claimed) but I remember when he was running for congressman in god...I don't know '76 ish (I was in maybe fifth grade at the time) he came and talked to our class about how one day computers from all over the world would be connected so that we could learn from each other. Thought that idea was so awesome I fake elected him in my mind.

And no one can file 13 a poem until I say so. New rules.

[Erthona]

I hear and obey goddess.




dale the supplicant