Poetry Forum › Poetry Forum › Haiku, Senryu, Short Form Poetry.
Irish

Irish
71degrees Offline
Actually rather good at it
********
Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
#1
03-15-2015, 09:48 AM
It is so cold
this day her lips
imprint freezes
on my cheek

I rub it
for luck
Reply
Tiger the Lion Offline
The Whispered Roar
Posts: 751
Threads: 409
Joined: May 2014
#2
03-15-2015, 10:12 AM
(03-15-2015, 09:48 AM)71degrees Wrote:  Love it!

It is so cold
this day her lips - shouldn't this be  lip's or lips' ?
imprint freezes
on my cheek

I rub it
for luck
Warm sentiment conveyed with cold words. Well done.
Paul
Reply
71degrees Offline
Actually rather good at it
********
Posts: 443
Threads: 99
Joined: Sep 2013
#3
03-15-2015, 11:41 AM
(03-15-2015, 10:12 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  
(03-15-2015, 09:48 AM)71degrees Wrote:  Love it!

It is so cold
this day her lips - shouldn't this be  lip's or lips' ?
imprint freezes
on my cheek

I rub it
for luck

Warm sentiment conveyed with cold words. Well done.
Paul

Thank you, Paul. "lips'"...you're probably right, just didn't look right to me.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!