Shore Waves

[71degrees]

Like white collars
of nuns
walking
in dark habits

[ellajam]

Like white collars
of nuns
walking
in dark habits

mmmm

walking stopped me at first, but it gives it the sense of movement that make the visual work so well.

[srijantje]

like white collared nuns?

[71degrees]

Like white collars
of nuns
walking
in dark habits

mmmm

walking stopped me at first, but it gives it the sense of movement that make the visual work so well.

I've tried other words (e.g. walking). I'm open to a synonym suggesting the cadence of walking. Thanks for the comments.

---

like white collared nuns?

srijantje,

Yes. I'm old. The visuals of the "old" nun habits were striking to me as a kid. All collar, starch white...yes.

68degrees

[Tiger the Lion]

Like white collars
of nuns
walking
in dark habits

mmmm

walking stopped me at first, but it gives it the sense of movement that make the visual work so well.

I've tried other words (e.g. walking). I'm open to a synonym suggesting the cadence of walking.  Thanks for the comments.

---

like white collared nuns?

srijantje,

Yes. I'm old. The visuals of the "old" nun habits were striking to me as a kid. All collar, starch white...yes.

68degrees

moving?

[just mercedes]

I like it - nuns always seemed legless to me - maybe 'gliding'?

[71degrees]

"Like white collars
of nuns
walking
in dark habits"

Oh these four line creations always trip me up lol.

I feel that the image is really created well, so much that I do see the nun.
I see the white collars and hoods as well as the dark, pitch black gowns worn by them at the mention of dark habits.

The white/dark usage gives me a sense of pure/hellish comparison.

There really is so much in these four lines. It's very thought-provoking.

To me, I get a very interpretive meaning to this. All based upon an opinion of Christianity, what constitutes as dark habits, and who or what is exactly the subject to this description. Like all the pieces aren't clear but it can be solved still.

Also, I got a picture of nun hoods just walking around by themselves. I would recommend some form of punctuation to separate the two ideas. Although, I do understand the appealing aspect of your organization, it would aid for clarity's sake.

Thanks for your time here. Appreciate all your comments muchly. The white/dark usage has purpose but it was absolutely true at the time. The nuns were pure nuns, dressed in bold white collars and BLACK habits. Almost "Muslim" characteristics of nothing female showing, or even allowed to show, not even the hair. I purposely stayed away from punctuation and will probably attempt to keep it that way. As far as the nun hoods "just walking around by themselves"...to a kid? Thats exactly what they looked like. Almost Headless Horseman-like...

Again, thanks. Love your comments.

[srijantje]

no,I really meant,why not change the first line to
like white collared nuns
walking
in dark habits

[what habits would they get into?]

[71degrees]

no,I really meant,why not change the first line to
like white collared nuns
walking
in dark habits

[what habits would they get into?]

I'm playing w/the word "habit"...that's what shore waves do. Not so much "habit" I guess; I'm sure there's a geological term for wave movement, but I chose "habit" as a piece of clothing and a word for what waves do. Call me weird. '

I do like your suggestion of first line, though. Thanks.