Faithlessness

[71degrees]

Tiny waves of skin
the heart pulses
reason sways

[Tiger the Lion]

Tiny waves of skin,
but when the heart pulses
reason sways

Hey 71. I get the picture nicely. At first read I thought you could crop quite a bit. Now I'm not as sure. I would still consider if you need the comma and possibly "but when". They might be implied by the form. 
Paul

[71degrees]

Tiny waves of skin,
but when the heart pulses
reason sways

Hey 71. I get the picture nicely. At first read I thought you could crop quite a bit. Now I'm not as sure. I would still consider if you need the comma and possibly "but when". They might be implied by the form. 
Paul

I think you're right. I edited.