Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities

[Erthona]

Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities (Tom and Todd edit 0.01)

We discover who we are
by interacting with others.
 
How can we make eye contact
when we are constantly looking
at the backs of our thumbs?

 

-Original-

Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities
 
We discover who we are—
our strengths and weaknesses
—by interacting with other people.
 
How can we make eye contact
when we are constantly looking
at the backs of our thumbs?
 
 
Erthona
 
©2015

[Todd]

Dale, do you think line 2 adds much? I like the break on weaknesses (just because its a great word to end the line on), but feel that it works just as well without the line. It has an excellent title, and maybe the smoothest reference to a texting culture I've seen. Beyond that question, no real issues with it.

[Erthona]

Todd,

Yeah, I had the same thought. I decided it did focus the idea on what I meant defining ourselves meant. I didn't want to leave it at the whim of some pop-psy mag to define it. But yeah, I agree, it is a thin line. I also thought the idea of "strengths and weakness" also helped clarify the title. I could be over thinking it, but those are my rationales for having it that way, it is also why it is written as a parenthetical.

I think are thoughts were along the same line, but our quarters landed differently. I may read it tomorrow and decide to change it.

"maybe the smoothest reference to a texting culture I've seen."

Thanks for that. I've been wanting to write about this, but haven't seen a way to get into it. The article today gave me passage in. This idea affects nearly everyone in some way, plus it's kind of cool, in an experimental sort of way that the first all digital generation is just reaching adulthood. The effects of smartphones on women, especially mothers it has seemed to have lees than a positive overall impact on. If using ones cell phone while driving is worse than being drunk, then does that equal to a drunk mother raising her kids. I've already done one on a woman speeding through a school zone and running over a six years old girl. I also did one of a woman who was texting and ran right into a concrete column. I actually witnessed that.

Dale

[tectak]

Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities
 
We discover who we are—
our strengths and weaknesses
—by interacting with other people.
 
How can we make eye contact
when we are constantly looking
at the backs of our thumbs?
 
 
Erthona
 
©2015

I am interacting...and I like this a good deal. It is not puffed up with its own importance as an acutely observed meme, but has an effective sadness in it which reflects how many of us feel but had failed to notice. Whenever we discover a modern truth it relieves the anguish which gets in to us all and makes us agitated but without knowing why.
I am inclined to go with todd on the second line but only because I am unsure that strengths and weaknesses are as important as we think they are in others. There is more to it, but this sets me thinking about what we lose when we lose eye contact.
Very piquant, dale.
Best,
tectak

[just mercedes]

I like this very much - although I'm not sure that the title does the poem justice. But yes, eye contact is lost to the txters, and the thousand-and-one ways we weigh up another person is reduced to one - what the words on the screen say.

[Erthona]

Thanks Tom and JM.

JM, yeah, I changed the title several times, this just happened to be what it was on when I posted it. I would be happy to entertain other suggestions.

Tom, since you and Todd both think that S1 L2 is uncalled for, and see how it goes.

Dale

[srijantje]

it's frighteningly funny

[RiverNotch]

Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities (Tom and Todd edit 0.01)

We discover who we are

by interacting with others.
 
How can we make eye contact
when we are constantly looking
at the backs of our thumbs?
©2015

I speak for my generation when I say that, when texting, we never look at the backs of our thumbs, we look at our screens. For how can you text by just looking at your thumbs? That said, I very rarely use my phone anyway (it's on airplane mode for like five days per week -- i only really use it for music), so I'm not that sure whether that note really is generation-representative.

Proper comment -- srijantje said it perfectly: frighteningly funny. I can't help but feel that this needs an appropriate response, though, but I've not the mind right now to write it (probably something about how the written word was so praised before the phone, and how the phone is a sort of corruption of the concept made by the very people who decry it now or something). Any other millenials here?

Seriously, I don't know who else is a millenial here. Although maybe that's a thing to be taken to the other forum--fora. The other fora.

But hey, I read a generational conflict in this thing! Maybe that's a bit too much into the mess -- it does say "we", not "you". Then again, the title pretty much excludes anyone out of college (or college age), so I may be right in reading that in. Maybe. Am I?

[Mr. Creosote]

Advancing Cases of Mental Illness in Universities (Tom and Todd edit 0.01)

We discover who we are

by interacting with others.
 
How can we make eye contact
when we are constantly looking
at the backs of our thumbs?
©2015

I speak for my generation when I say that, when texting, we never look at the backs of our thumbs, we look at our screens. For how can you text by just looking at your thumbs? That said, I very rarely use my phone anyway (it's on airplane mode for like five days per week -- i only really use it for music), so I'm not that sure whether that note really is generation-representative.

Proper comment -- srijantje said it perfectly: frighteningly funny. I can't help but feel that this needs an appropriate response, though, but I've not the mind right now to write it (probably something about how the written word was so praised before the phone, and how the phone is a sort of corruption of the concept made by the very people who decry it now or something). Any other millenials here?

Seriously, I don't know who else is a millenial here. Although maybe that's a thing to be taken to the other forum--fora. The other fora.

But hey, I read a generational conflict in this thing! Maybe that's a bit too much into the mess -- it does say "we", not "you". Then again, the title pretty much excludes anyone out of college (or college age), so I may be right in reading that in. Maybe. Am I?

I think you are taking the looking at the back of your thumbs part a little too literally

[Erthona]

Thank you Mr. Creosote, yes it is not suppose to be taken literally.

RN, If you keep your phone in your bag as you say, I would hardly think you are representative. I know a fairly large amount of people in this age group. If I want my daughter (who will soon be in college-if she goes) to behave, all I have to do is threaten to take away her phone: actually, I don't even have to threaten.
It is also probably true that the title is not the best one. That was meant more as a jumping off place than a lens through which to see the poem. I thought of "Digitally Aged", but that seemed to cutesy. So I am open for suggestions.

As always thanks for your comments,

Dale

[Magpie]

Dale,

I also like this one very much, it's very astute. I would also agree that it works better without the "strengths and weaknesses" line.

My only problem would be the fact that you said you were "open for suggestions", regarding the title because I then wouldn't have had the opportunity to offer in no particular order of preference (which means they are all gimmicky gimmicks)

Digit Alchemist
Digit Aliterate
Digit Albums

As you can see, my pony has only one trick.

Cheers for the read,

Mark

[rayheinrich]

The poem is generational prejudice, the poll is homophobic, and computers stifle creativity.

[RiverNotch]

I'm thinking, for the title, something related to cells -- cells in the body, cells of society, cellular phones -- er, "Finger Cells"?

[Erthona]

Cross Bred DNA - Thumb Cells/Cell phone


dale

[Tiger the Lion]

Also a huge fan of this one Dale. Strophe 2 is so strong I wonder if you could do more in the intro. I'm not sure how though. Succinct as is. I'll keep reading,
Paul

[Todd]

I'm actually a fan of the title as it stands.

Just wanted to weigh in