Poetry Forum › Poetry Forum › Haiku, Senryu, Short Form Poetry.
They're staying together for the kids' sake.

They're staying together for the kids' sake.
Animal Riots Activist Offline
member
****
Posts: 36
Threads: 9
Joined: May 2015
#1
06-08-2015, 01:43 PM
They're staying together for the kids' sake.

The Queen of Evens and the King of Odds
sit on the back porch, making it work.

See me now, with no control,
shitting in their petunias.
-"You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
--"A hospital? What is it?"
-"It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now."
Reply
Todd Offline
Empty Suit
Posts: 2,360
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010
#2
06-08-2015, 01:50 PM
I enjoyed this. I almost want to see you change of to at for the King.

The only real critique I have though is that it seems like this title could be used for more.

I prefer short poems as a rule, but this might be one of the exceptions.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
Reply
billy Offline
Are you alluding to me?
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
#3
06-08-2015, 05:08 PM
anything with shitting in has my vote
no feedback except to say for me it works and i find it more than funny.

(06-08-2015, 01:43 PM)Animal Riots Activist Wrote:  They're staying together for the kids' sake.

The Queen of Evens and the King of Odds
sit on the back porch, making it work.

See me now, with no control,
shitting in their petunias.
Poetic Devices *** Why Read Poetry? *** Poetry Tips
Reply
srijantje Offline
Talker to trees
*
Posts: 13
Threads: 66
Joined: Dec 2009
#4
06-08-2015, 09:02 PM
ebony and ivory came to my mind spontaniously
  • the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!