daylight dwindles
#1
Hi - I'm not sure about 'tincts' - it feels like a made-up word that cross 'tints' and 'picture' but for me it's a bit obtrusive here.
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#2
I like the obtrusiveness. It makes the line sharper, for me-- makes the feel of those vivid colors more, well, vivid.
I absorbed this the first day this was posted, and I really liked it even then -- it's a stunning picture. Makes me think of those nature pictures of dusk where the contrast is put to a terrible maximum, but then I love my colors.
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#3
(10-09-2015, 09:34 AM)entwife Wrote:  daylight dwindles
the leaves respond
in vivid tincts
I really like this one. When I first read it a few days ago I had a distaste for the word "dwindles". I'm over it, it works here. The only suggestion I have is that you may be able to cut "the" in L2. (though that may require an em dash after "dwindles") Just a thought. Thanks for this,
Paul
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