Run Rabbit (inspired by Alice Sebold's LUCKY)

[CRNDLSM]

Hey rabbit, you look so good, 
you wanna take a ride on my motor, baby?
Taste this liquor.  After two martinis,
you'll have no idea what my motives may be.
Inside of this suit, the wolf is smiling.
It comes so easy, I'm not even trying.
We get in position, ready to go,
and I'm in control now, cause no one said 'no'.
But then you start crying, speaking in gibberish,
spoiling the fun.  I cant wait to finish.
I can't help but laugh when I leave you at the curb,
cause I really don't care how much you say it hurts.

Hey rabbit, you look so good,
you wanna go to dinner and a movie, maybe?
The love in your eyes, I melt in your smile,
don't let me be alone another minute, baby.
Slide up my hand and ask me to stay.
Obscure about your past? You don't need to fake it.
I want it to be my business, let's close up this distance.
Give up the resistance, I'll always be listening.
But then you start screaming, and calling me stupid,
and throwing shit at me, but I don't know what I did.
I say that I'm sorry, but it just makes you mad.
That's when you slammed the front door, and never came back.

Hey rabbit, you look so good,
could you give me some advice on how to manage, maybe?
I'm in debt up to my neck, beat to look a wreck,
they even came and took away my month-old baby.
So I ran away from home, tired of being alone.
I've been through hell and need some help regaining a shred of hope.
You say, 'It's not easy at first, being a victim of assault,
but through counseling or church, you gotta learn it's not your fault.
And then you start talking, and shedding your secrets.
It allows you the freedom to get back the feelings
of faith and self-confidence, self-esteem, and health,
but you'll find the greatest help is helping others just like yourself.'

[MadelineAnne]

Hi CRNDLSM!  

I like the first two stanzas of this piece. I like the flow and the rhythm. But, I feel like the last lines wrap things up too neatly, too easily. And it's too straightforward there at the end. A little more show and less tell?

Best to you!

[JasonM.]

Hello CRNDLSM, 

I enjoyed your poem! The repetition of "Hey rabbit, you look so good" add such a unique touch to the poem. It gives each stanza a pause in the beginning that enables me to wonder whats next. 

The first 2 stanzas were very strong and had a nice contrast to each other while they both gave a sense of confusion and shame. After a few more reads I began to understand the 3rd stanza better but at first it was a bit off with the rest of the setting; however, it does make the poem whole with its irony. 

Thank you for sharing!