painted

[justlikeyou]

painted sunset
the pink canvas
of his sneakers

[Erthona]

poignant

dale

[RiverNotch]

I was thinking this was gonna be something really boring until I read that third line -- sweet. And now pink sneakers is making me think of bubblegum....

[justlikeyou]

Yes, bubblegum pink is right!

Thanks guys! Glad this one is working.

[Erthona]

justlikeyou,

Obviously you are not just like me, or anyone else on the site, as others give feedback to other people's poems (I just checked and you have not given anyone a single critique). This site is based on giving good critique just as much as it is about posting poetry, in fact even more so as most people will give three critiques for every piece of poetry that they post, since most people receive several pieces of criticism per poem posted. Although this is strictly enforced in the workshop forums, there is a general understanding that reciprocation is an overall part of this site. To be otherwise is unfair, and those who practice only taking are acting in a very selfish way. We would like to have you as a member, but not if you are only going to take. I know this has been explained to you in a PM and you currently have a 20% warning. Unless you comply and begin giving legitimate feedback, I will take down any future poems you post. If this sort of interaction (described above) does not suit you, there are plenty of vanity sites on the web. May I suggest allpoetry.com, it is also a free site and has no feedback requirement.

Best,

dale/mod  

[justlikeyou]

 (I just checked and you have not given anyone a single critique).   

What's true is that I don't know much about forms of poetry beyond haiku, and that only since last August when I discovered it, leaving much yet to learn

What's not true is that I have not given a single critique of anyone. 

When I signed up here last Fall I had to give three critiques before beng allowed to post. I was here only briefly but am certain I gave more critiques in the short time that I was. 

Since I returned only recently I posted one the 16th in Elektron, and another was taken down as it was deemed too much about my own reaction as it related to the poem. 

But still, according to the rules, I haven't done enough. 

It's hard though when I don't feel qualified to post in forms outside of short verse, and not much happens in that section. 

And not to be rude, but I find it difficult to find anything that moves me to respond with words of criticism, not because of the quality of the poem, but because I honestly feel at a loss to do so. Many times I've read a work here and all I have is my personal reaction, i.e. how it made me feel or what it provoked within, and that isn't allowed it seems. 

As such, I feel that the quota is a bit contrived in that, for me, to follow it, I would have to fake it. That doesn't seem fair to the writer somehow.

But still, the rules are the rules, and I will consider your words carefully.

[Erthona]

Thank you for your response. Each response or poem you have posted is listed under your name in your CP.

dale/mod

[Lizzie]

This thread was very useful to me when I started giving critiques. It's a learned art like everything else in poetry.

http://www.pigpenpoetry.com/thread-14811.html

[ellajam]

justlikeyou wrote:

Many times I've read a work here and all I have is my personal reaction, i.e. how it made me feel or what it provoked within, and that isn't allowed it seems.

It's certainly allowed but it's only one step in a critique, the question in trying to learn to write better poetry is how did the poet do that? After the experience comes the thinking: what techniques were used, is it the sound of the words or the pace at which they were delivered that evoked my response? Was it a metaphor that opened my eyes or that line break that somehow spoke to me?

It's fine to express how a poem makes you feel, it's trying to understand the why of it that makes the thread a learning experience for OP, the critic and the rest of us.

[justlikeyou]

Thanks all. Appreciated. Will take under advisement all your comments.