reptilian ennui

[Achebe]

Hi entwife -
I think justlikeyou made a great point on an earlier post that in a haiku (it's 5-5-5 rather than 5-7-5 so I'm not sure if you're attempting haiku) you should only describe, not explain. The idea is to create a picture in the reader's mind, which 'perfectly still' and 'stuck in a blue mood' does not.
I get the pun, but in the above short form it doesn't really work as a pun.

[ellajam]

Hi, I like this one. Haiku, Senryu,  syllable count, it doesn't matter. It's a short poem that works for me. I like the image and the blue iguana, and the thought behind it.

[Achebe]

thanks ella , always glad to get your comments.

achebe - haiku is NOT about 575, it is an observation of the world in as few words as possible. I like to bring a little humor into them. thanks for counting , I never do.

I know that English haiku is not about 5 7 5.
My point, which should have been clear from my post, was that IF you were attempting haiku, you should observe, not comment, in your poem.
Otherwise, this is a haiku too:
She sells
Sea shells
On seashores.

[cvanshelton]

Keep the original. It's fantastic.

[RiverNotch]

the chameleon
sat perfectly still
stuck in a blue mood

revised

the chameleon sat
stuck in a blue mood

"blue mood" feels redundant (already, ennui), while diluting the poem's imagery (becomes pretty unambiguous that the direct meaning of this is that the chameleon is sad, not that it has changed color). and though "stuck in blue" might make it seem as if it's stuck in some blue goo, in a chameleon's habitat, what exactly is both sticky and blue? not bird poop, i'm sure, nor semen....so yeah, "the chameleon sat / stuck in blue"

although if this were to be made even more direct, you could scrap considering the title as an independent, and just go something like

"the chameleon sits
blue --
reptilian ennui"

or heck, with sit being something a chameleon almost every other time does (unless you consider sitting for quadrupeds to be a la us, in which case why), and with the whole ennui thing being even more redundant, perhaps

"blue,
the chameleon"

which is really clean (removing "the" I think would just make it look like you broke the term in two), plus really, really emphasizes the mood, with the starkness and whatever -- might make "chameleon" mean something more than the reptile, with the title having been eliminated. say, Zelig, who probably never experienced the joys of fulfillment, of identity, of acceptance, being the perfect eternal mimic.

[SethFiction]

This has a lot of humor attached to it, and a surprisingly deep insight into the nature of our perceptual reality... as simple as it appears.