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		I picked up her habits
like candy wrappers on the ground,
frowning from a sense of obligation
and disgust.
I didn't throw them out
when she left.
Now I'm rotting with the filth,
and the stench is worse than a skunk
in heat.
	
	
	
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		 (10-01-2016, 11:12 PM)Wjames Wrote:  I picked up her habits
like candy wrappers on the ground, interesting images, gluttony? 
frowning from a sense of obligation
and disgust. obligation and disgust from what? to the habits? these words are abstract and not as strong as the candy wrapper line
I didn't throw them out
when she left. good lines/images of not letting 
Now I'm rotting with the filth, filth from what? candy wrappers? are they that filthy?
and the stench is worse than a skunk
in heat. good image but without understanding what is filthy..
thanks for the read
	
 
	
	
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		Thanks for your thoughts Kole.
The filth and such are the habits, which I could explain but I wanted to keep it all within the garbage metaphor/simile.
One of them is smoking, which could maybe be gleaned from the title.
	
	
	
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		 (10-01-2016, 11:12 PM)Wjames Wrote:  I picked up her habits
like candy wrappers on the ground,
frowning from a sense of obligation
and disgust.
I didn't throw them out
when she left.
Now I'm rotting with the filth,
and the stench is worse than a skunk
in heat.
Nice build up. Absolutely disgusting, such silly lost loves (also littering -- and I think I'm a little obsessive compulsive about both, which is a bonus). Lovely work.
	
 
	
	
	
		
	
 
 
	
	
	
		
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		 (10-01-2016, 11:26 PM)Wjames Wrote:  Thanks for your thoughts Kole.
The filth and such are the habits, which I could explain but I wanted to keep it all within the garbage metaphor/simile.
One of them is smoking, which could maybe be gleaned from the title.
fair enough. obligation and disgust might be a garbage bag tied a bit tighter  
 
	 
	
	
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