Mosul song

[Achebe]

Al Baghdadi Al Baghdadi
time for you to taste slug, daddy
of the Levantine Caliphate.
Though America raised you
their newfound friends have braised you,
your goose is cooked, now embrace Ali's fate
when a fellow Kharjite smarmy
dispatches you to save his skin - 
such betrayal being no sin -
for the patchwork enemy army.

[Bueller]

Al Baghdadi Al Baghdadi
time for you to taste slug, daddy
of the Levantine Caliphate.
Though America raised you
their newfound friends have braised you,
your goose is cooked, now embrace Ali's fate
when a fellow Kharjite smarmy
dispatches you to save his skin - 
such betrayal being no sin -
for the patchwork enemy army.

First, I like that you addressed it to a specific group of people. I read something recently (I'm reading "Beautiful & Pointless") that a lot of political poetry tends to be addressed to no one in particular and sounds as if it assumes that there will be no reader, thus ensuring forever that poetry is seen as a publicly irrelevant endeavor.

Second, I think it could use more in the way of metaphor/simile/imagery. You have the goose, the slug, but it's mostly facts/opinion.

"Save his skin" skirts cliche, and I'd replace it if you can find something else.

Finally, I like how you utilize rhyme in a way that isn't heavy handed. 

Thanks for posting

bueller

[Achebe]

Al Baghdadi Al Baghdadi
time for you to taste slug, daddy
of the Levantine Caliphate.
Though America raised you
their newfound friends have braised you,
your goose is cooked, now embrace Ali's fate
when a fellow Kharjite smarmy
dispatches you to save his skin - 
such betrayal being no sin -
for the patchwork enemy army.

First, I like that you addressed it to a specific group of people. I read something recently (I'm reading "Beautiful & Pointless") that a lot of political poetry tends to be addressed to no one in particular and sounds as if it assumes that there will be no reader, thus ensuring forever that poetry is seen as a publicly irrelevant endeavor.

Second, I think it could use more in the way of metaphor/simile/imagery. You have the goose, the slug, but it's mostly facts/opinion.

"Save his skin" skirts cliche, and I'd replace it if you can find something else.

Finally, I like how you utilize rhyme in a way that isn't heavy handed. 

Thanks for posting

bueller

Thanks, Bueller. Though this was just for a bit of fun, written on a whim. And really, the whole point is the 'Caliphate / Ali's fate" rhyme, which does a bit to stretch the limits of credulity
Political poetry is boring, mostly sloganeering, and has no lasting value. This "poem" is a good example and your comments are bang on target.
Perhaps I should have posted it in the Fun forum.