Gingerly - Edit 1

[Wjames]

Edit 1:

The moon is a slaughterhouse
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes. 

I wish you would let your hair down
like it were me. I'm always wishing 
you would let me go

down.

Original:

The moon is full
of slaughterhouses
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes.

I wish you would let your hair down
like it were me. I'm always wishing 
you would let me go

down.

[just mercedes]

That was a badge that a Hells Angel prospect had to earn. Unless I'm reading this wrongly. Which I could be.

[Tiger the Lion]

The moon is full I think this enjambment is too obvious. To my ear a long first line ending at "slaughterhouses" sounds stronger
of slaughterhouses
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes.

(I wish you would let your hair down Love this line
like it were me.) I'm always wishing 
you would let me go

down.

I like the title too. It puts me in mind of how a lover might broach the subject of experimenting with the taboo. 
Enjoyed the read,
Paul

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Loved the read Wjames!

Personally, I don't think that the 'down' at the very end adds anything to the work. I'd scrap it completely.

[Todd]

Just to add another opinion. I think you may want to abandon the enjambment for something a bit more arresting. Maybe:

The moon is a slaughterhouse
dripping red into your ponytail

If you want to try something fun with enjambment, how about this for your third line:

and my eyes. I wish

Just some thoughts,

Best,

Todd 

The moon is full
of slaughterhouses
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes.

I wish you would let your hair down
like it were me. I'm always wishing 
you would let me go

down.

[vagabond]

The moon is full
of slaughterhouses
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes.

I wish you would let your hair down                               i really love these two lines, although the wish to be let down is slightly confusing... or maybe not, it made me read the first stanza again.
like it were me. I'm always wishing 
you would let me go                                        

down.

this poem has a lot of content in few words, i am reading a relationship like a slaughterhouse into this, imagining the bloody ponytail opened is disturbing. in some way it seems like a wish for honesty.
i got not much to offer concerning formal critique, except what was already said: the second "down" seems unnecessary to me.

[Wjames]

Thanks for all your thoughts!

After thinking about it I agree about the enjambment in the first stanza, Tiger, and I like Todd's metaphor idea there, so I changed it.

Thanks again!

[RiverNotch]

The moon is a slaughterhouse
dripping red into your ponytail
and my eyes. 

I wish you would let your hair down
like it were me. I'm always wishing 
you would let me go

down.

Beautiful -- cleaner than the last version, too. My usual obsessions lead me to reading this as the speaker growing mad with lust, asking his ideal love to be a little less ideal, a little more carnal -- for the speaker to be allowed to be a beast, a butcher, a cannibal.