Off Boardwalk

[Wjames]

Cracked soles in wet sand
pebbled with twigs and shards
of wine bottle, wave vomit
moulding on the haggard shore
two hundred meters down
from paradise.

[vagabond]

like this poem, short but contentful.
i stumbled over wave vomit.
could be my limited grammar but maybe "waves of vomit/ moulding on the haggard shore" would be better?
then tried another way to read it and wanted it to be "waves vomit, / moulding on the haggard shore".
maybe a word less drastic than "waves" would be fine, but i can´t come up with anything.

i saw a homeless person in your poem. the last line hits with social criticism. i keep thinking of the vomit how it could also not be the bum´s but that of the people still walking the boardwalk

[Keith]

Cracked soles in wet sand
pebbled with twigs and shards
of wine bottle, wave vomit
moulding on the haggard shore
two hundred meters down
from paradise.

I like the contrast of wealth and poverty, I also like the foam being wave vomit. I wanted to read 'of a wine bottle' or of wine bottles' I also read it with a comma after shore.
Make me think, I enjoyed the read. Thanks Keith

[RiverNotch]

Cracked soles in wet sand
pebbled with twigs and shards
of wine bottle, wave vomit
moulding on the haggard shore
two hundred meters down
from paradise.

Disgusting -- also, beautiful. I saw a tourist with bad shoes walking surly down the coast, noticing nasty details regular nothings would ignore. But that speaks more of me than of the poem, and I don't have any issues with the poem.

[nibbed]

it stinks that a beautiful shore can get all mucked up.
it made me wonder if smooth and muted sea glass
really exists, I mean are there places you can go
and find some?

your poem was greatly visual
using so few words. I might fiddle
with enjambment a bit, though

-nibbed