Helios' March

[Tiger the Lion]

Helios' March

this morning's sun
on your mark
gets set for spring

catches you
walking naked to the kitchen

[Todd]

Great ending!

And I like how you personified dawn breaking as a race.

[cloud]

Images running through my mind - not pleasant ones


Like this one ~

[Magpie]

Nice one Paul, the ending is great. 

My only query would be about 'March' in the title, is it simply a month reference or is it a play on the double meaning of 'march', if so then a 'march' feels at odds against the race that you have set up in the poem.

I'm out of practice with all this critique 

Mark