japan's wild west
#1
plum trees blossom pink
cow bells ring in the meadow
rustlers are busy
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#2
(11-15-2018, 12:30 PM)billy Wrote:  plum trees blossom pink
cow bells ring in the meadow
rustler's are busy

Subtle; nice images.  I try to [over]interpret the apostrophe on L3, then desist.

Alert guards on bamboo watchtowers, seeking fruitlessly for a reason bells sound in the darkness below.  One of them returns his bow to its case and brushes this spring haiku by the light of a hanging fire-pot.  He recites it to his comapanions, who laugh over sake bowls as thieves lead their prizes away.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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#3
Second line brings some nice imagery. I don't understand the apostrophe in rustler's but overall it's a nice little haiku.
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#4
thanks guys, yep it should be rustlers, will sort it out now. thanks.
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#5
I don't really have a gripe with the piece, but I am disappointed this didn't end up being about Japan's real wild west, the world of the Sengoku-jidai.
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#6
Really like the blush pink of the plums
cow-bells ? love the field sound and plant image this captures
the double play on rustlers between plant and cow twist the end just the right amount.

A solid short Billy, much enjoyed

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#7
Thanks guys.
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