Posts: 1,548
Threads: 942
Joined: Dec 2016
With your disgusting phallus,
the sheer metallic scythe,
raised high above the tulips,
you swoop down on the scene,
beheading my precious harvest,
as the sun leaps like a child
on the red rimmed, shining steel,
and I bleed in the grain like a pig.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
hehe.
i like it though it does mix metaphores. tulips and grain.
the last 5 lines were excellent.
Posts: 1,548
Threads: 942
Joined: Dec 2016
Oh yes of course, I don't know why I didn't notice those mixed metaphors when I wrote this. Thanks for the heads up; I'll have a think about how I can change it.
Thanks for the kind praise
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
Posts: 805
Threads: 374
Joined: Dec 2009
One of your most evocative works. The most beautiful violence I've read.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Posts: 1,548
Threads: 942
Joined: Dec 2016
Thanks for your lovely praise, addy
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
Posts: 197
Threads: 78
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,548
Threads: 942
Joined: Dec 2016
Thank you Ris Yerg
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
