God's Fingerprint

[Namyh]

God’s Fingerprint

On the Sistine, Michaelangelo painted God’s fingered thrust
giving with Love the gift of Life to Man fresh from dust.
First breath, beneath the Heavens! Second breath, on land and sea!
From then ‘til now, a thrusted finger sculpts his Destiny.

Not long ago, Instinct was his primal need and guide
when smells repelled, fires frightened and lightning made him hide
and stars up in the Heaven were just punctures in the night
while reflections in the water were the ghosts he could not fight.

Then Lightning struck and all beasts ran. He made a mental leap
to stand his ground in Thunder’s roar, a choice to “not” retreat,
and Nature merged with Instinct to define Creation’s goal
from God’s thrusted fingerprint now stamped upon his Soul.

And if Time’s compressed into a day for beasts, for Man and flowers,
then Life with many a cell showed up in just the last twelve hours.
And Dinosaurs walked on Earth last hour! Pre-Man, a minute or so!
Modern Man, you and I only just got here less than a second ago.

Still time to learn from Wisdom! Still time to shed the Fears
of pain and War mourned by moms who’ve cried a billion tears.
Embrace the Life that’s precious. Be proud you’re Man from dust
and fashioned by the hand of God in a single fingered thrust!

Namyh

[Mark A Becker]

Hi Namyh-
Pretty cool.  I trip on "God's fingered thrust" everytime though, and think you could fairly easily find another way to express that.

God’s Fingerprint

On the Sistine, Michaelangelo painted God’s fingered thrust A bit awkward, reaching for the rhyme with "dust".
giving with Love the gift of Life to Man fresh from dust.  This line is trying too hard to get that rhyme. Maybe "Adam" instead of "Man". ??
First breath, beneath the Heavens! Second breath, on land and sea!
From then ‘til now, a thrusted finger sculpts his Destiny. God's destiny? Perhaps "our" instead.  Somewhere you made the switch from "God" to "Man", but it's not very clear where.

Not long ago, Instinct was his primal need and guide  If "his" means God, I submit that it could be "her".  I think you may mean "our" instead of "his" ("his" would a capital "H" if referring to God. You need to clear up who "he" is: people or God?
when smells repelled, fires frightened and lightning made him hide  Why would God hide? Maybe "us" instead. ??
and stars up in the Heaven were just punctures in the night cool line
while reflections in the water were the ghosts he could not fight.  "fight" is a forced rhyme

Then Lightning struck and all beasts ran. He made a mental leap
to stand his ground in Thunder’s roar, a choice to “not” retreat,  Really not sure that God as creator would be fearful.
and Nature merged with Instinct to define Creation’s goal
from God’s thrusted fingerprint now stamped upon his Soul. Perhaps "with the fingerprint of God..."  "our soul" ??

And if Time’s compressed into a day for beasts, for Man and flowers,
then Life with many a cells showed up in just the last twelve hours. "evolved" instead of "showed up" . ??
And Dinosaurs walked on Earth last hour! Pre-Man, a minute or so!  "humans" instead of "Man".  ??
Modern Man, you and I only just got here less than a second ago.  This is a really fun part!  Maybe "arrived " instead of " got here"

Still time to learn from Wisdom! Still time to shed the Fears
of pain and War mourned by moms who’ve cried a billion tears. Why capital for "War", but not "pain" ? Dad's cry, too.
Embrace the Life that’s precious. Be proud you’re Man from dust  Maybe "made" instead of "Man" ??
and fashioned by the hand of God in a single fingered thrust!  Really does sound awkward

Namyh

You're on to something with this one.  While I may not agree with some of the details, I do think that slight changes would make for big improvements. 

Thanks for the fun read!
Mark