A walk in the park

[Semicircle]

Despite kindness
something lurks

shadows huff street lamps
eyes glow inside bushes

Cold dust blowing
on a windy night

[rowens]

The abstract kindness and lurking set an interesting tone.

The evil shirks lines, unless you're easily affected by rhymes and words, can turn people away who now expect more throwaway lines.

Shadows do far more interesting things in the vicinity of street lamps than dash. They can.


Cold dust is an image you can feel.

[Semicircle]

The abstract kindness and lurking set an interesting tone.

The evil shirks lines, unless you're easily affected by rhymes and words, can turn people away who now expect more throwaway lines.

Shadows do far more interesting things in the vicinity of street lamps than dash. They can.


Cold dust is an image you can feel.

thanks for the advice, that poem could've been a stinker. I've revised my work.

[rowens]

The wintry canopy and eyes in bushes feel like overkill.