The Wall

[Jetz]

The Wall

She looked for the writing
but only a few letters were visible
That damn clock commandeered
so much space
and time
without rhyme

though always a reason
no matter the season
The incessant tic toc
of that fuckin' clock

She'd love to
take a rock
to that God damn clock
but then

there'd be that damn writing.

[ellajam]

Hi, Jetz,

I'm enjoying this. Nice use of title and play on cliche. God being capitalized seems a little off to me.

Thanks for the read.

The Wall

She looked for the writing
but only a few letters were visable
That damn clock commandeered
so much space
and time
without rhyme

though always a reason
no matter the season
The incessant tic toc
of that fuckin' clock

She'd love to
take a rock
to that God damn clock
but then

there'd be that damn writing.


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[newsclippings]

The Wall

She looked for the writing
but only a few letters were visable visible
That damn clock commandeered
so much space
and time
without rhyme

though always a reason
no matter the season I think these two are unnecessary lines.
The incessant tic toc
of that fuckin' clock

She'd love to
take a rock
to that God damn clock
but then

there'd be that damn writing.


[/size][size=medium]

I was mistakenly waiting for a rhyme at the end. Woe is me. Try to give these run through before you post them. Some mistakes are inevitable despite how many time you re-read, and others are completely visible. :]

And why not just burn the wall?

[Obadiah Grey]

The Wall

She looked for the writing
but only a few letters were visable
That damn clock commandeered
so much space
and time
without rhyme

though always a reason
no matter the season
The incessant tic toc
of that fuckin' clock

She'd love to
take a rock
to that God damn clock
but then

there'd be that damn writing.


[/size][size=medium]

Hee hee, shit, made me laugh, and, jeeeezus I agree with the frustration !

Obi.