Hello.
Here is one I have just finished, looking for some feedback and how to improve it.
Thank you to all who read it.
----
When the rain falls,
is it comfort or calamity to be quenched in a soggy skirt?
My red highlights glistening amongst the green,
tantalizing all the forest.
Yet my bark skin desires no bite.
When the sunbeams pass through the foliage,
I turn my face upward,
smiling at mother nature’s garden.
A songbird sings,
I am its humble abode,
offering up the sweetest melodies at the 1st of each month.
As if payment were required.
A skeleton rests under me.
Marked by a tombstone & periodic flowers fed by the teardrops from the anguish of the never-ending why…
Mothers all have that why.
A whistle dances in the wind,
The silhouette of a brute follows its pulse to me.
I see “RUFUS” etched into a sleeveless black and blue tartan.
His arms are lined with scars.
I shiver under his calloused hands as they pin a band beneath my breast.
The wannabe Paul Bunyon plants a platypus kiss on my skin and speaks—
Mmm, special one. You ain’t like the others.
His disgusting summer teeth grinned and a flare flickered in his chest. Lub-dub
His eyes catch mine drifting to his wasteland of scars rising up.
He grins proudly,
As if they were the bones of a phoenix rising from the ash.
Oh you will be sweet. So sweet.
He shows me his hands,
These were from a beautiful southern belle.
She cried to God–digging her nails into my hands as I took her down.
I keep her now as a treasure chest,
Her flashy bouquets spilling sweetness,
Constantly reminding me of that hot summer night.
Her name was Magnolia.
The flare flickers.
Lub-dub, lub-dub.
He lifts up his neck,
This was from a luscious cut-throat bitch who wouldn’t stop screaming for her lover.
She tried to strangle me.
Little did she know her kinks were mine.
I wear her now as a choker,
Proclaiming to all the world my openness.
Her name was Ivy.
The flare flickers.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
He shows me his arms,
These were from a loony who thought she was a witch.
She whipped me with her hair as I contorted her to my will.
Crying incantations to summon Lucifer to save her.
I skinned her into a flute,
And whistle her weeping tune to lure.
Her name was Willow.
The fire blazes.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub, dub, lub-dub.
In that moment,
I learned how forest fires roar.
I heard the cries of ancient girlhood ring through each and every one of his scars,
Their smoke rising,
casting a spell-binding circle.
I am glad you came to me.
For I have been waiting you see.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air
My name is Sylvia.
Here is one I have just finished, looking for some feedback and how to improve it.
Thank you to all who read it.
----
When the rain falls,
is it comfort or calamity to be quenched in a soggy skirt?
My red highlights glistening amongst the green,
tantalizing all the forest.
Yet my bark skin desires no bite.
When the sunbeams pass through the foliage,
I turn my face upward,
smiling at mother nature’s garden.
A songbird sings,
I am its humble abode,
offering up the sweetest melodies at the 1st of each month.
As if payment were required.
A skeleton rests under me.
Marked by a tombstone & periodic flowers fed by the teardrops from the anguish of the never-ending why…
Mothers all have that why.
A whistle dances in the wind,
The silhouette of a brute follows its pulse to me.
I see “RUFUS” etched into a sleeveless black and blue tartan.
His arms are lined with scars.
I shiver under his calloused hands as they pin a band beneath my breast.
The wannabe Paul Bunyon plants a platypus kiss on my skin and speaks—
Mmm, special one. You ain’t like the others.
His disgusting summer teeth grinned and a flare flickered in his chest. Lub-dub
His eyes catch mine drifting to his wasteland of scars rising up.
He grins proudly,
As if they were the bones of a phoenix rising from the ash.
Oh you will be sweet. So sweet.
He shows me his hands,
These were from a beautiful southern belle.
She cried to God–digging her nails into my hands as I took her down.
I keep her now as a treasure chest,
Her flashy bouquets spilling sweetness,
Constantly reminding me of that hot summer night.
Her name was Magnolia.
The flare flickers.
Lub-dub, lub-dub.
He lifts up his neck,
This was from a luscious cut-throat bitch who wouldn’t stop screaming for her lover.
She tried to strangle me.
Little did she know her kinks were mine.
I wear her now as a choker,
Proclaiming to all the world my openness.
Her name was Ivy.
The flare flickers.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
He shows me his arms,
These were from a loony who thought she was a witch.
She whipped me with her hair as I contorted her to my will.
Crying incantations to summon Lucifer to save her.
I skinned her into a flute,
And whistle her weeping tune to lure.
Her name was Willow.
The fire blazes.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub, dub, lub-dub.
In that moment,
I learned how forest fires roar.
I heard the cries of ancient girlhood ring through each and every one of his scars,
Their smoke rising,
casting a spell-binding circle.
I am glad you came to me.
For I have been waiting you see.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air
My name is Sylvia.
