The Athonite

[RiverNotch]

The Athonite


Prometheus, they say, was bound
on one of the mountains that marked
the northern border between
civilization and barbarity.

Halkidiki, perhaps, was too near
to the Hellenic heartland
for possessing one such peak, 

but I imagine the fire he stole
through a single stalk of fennel
from the wheels of his cousin the Sun
was first employed to heat up
a ragged samovar,

brewing tea for Father Silouan
while his friends, like the Titan those nights
when the wings of the eagle that fed 
on his liver were tucked to leave open
his view of the sky, observed
the stars.

---

(My last LPIA thing, and the one that seems most....tantalizing. I don't really know what to make of it -- the title is essentially a placeholder)

[busker]

The Athonite


Prometheus, they say, was bound
on one of the mountains that marked
the northern border between
civilization and barbarity.

Halkidiki, perhaps, was too near
to the Hellenic heartland
for possessing one such peak, 

but I imagine the fire he stole
through a single stalk of fennel
from the wheels of his cousin the Sun
was first employed to heat up
a ragged samovar,

brewing tea for Father Silouan
while his friends, like the Titan those nights
when the wings of the eagle that fed 
on his liver were tucked to leave open
his view of the sky, observed
the stars.

---

(My last LPIA thing, and the one that seems most....tantalizing. I don't really know what to make of it -- the title is essentially a placeholder)

For me, the part above in bold is brilliant and memorable.
I’m not quite sure what to make of the anachronisms in the poem.
Or why father silouan represents enlightenment. If that is what’s being implied.
The poem seems to be making a point, but it eludes me

[Magpie]

It's not easy to critique this one for me, but here goes...

The Athonite    - I know you said it was a place holder, but it was quite useful to have in my list of things to Google


Prometheus, they say, was bound - 'they say' seems weak and too vague - could it be 'legend says' or something similar - you could even drop 'they say'
on one of the mountains that marked - feel like your missing an opportunity to poetically describe a mountain
the northern border between
civilization and barbarity. - not sure whether to take this as a physical or metaphorical border - could be both - i like it

Halkidiki, perhaps, was too near - do you need 'perhaps'?
to the Hellenic heartland
for possessing one such peak, - I like the alliteration in this stanza - is Halkidiki there for more than alliteration? I can't work it out

but I imagine the fire he stole
through a single stalk of fennel
from the wheels of his cousin the Sun
was first employed to heat up - feel like you could wield a bit more poetic language within this stanza 
a ragged samovar, - really like this line/image

brewing tea for Father Silouan - interesting detour - although 'samovar' was the clue
while his friends, like the Titan those nights
when the wings of the eagle that fed 
on his liver were tucked to leave open
his view of the sky, observed  - similar to Busker, I think these lines are excellent
the stars. - this last stanza feels awkward I think because that 'pause' in between the commas distracts from the line 'while his friends observed the stars' 

These type of poems are hard for me to critique, I've come back to it a few times now after researching a bit and although I think I understand all the elements within it I don't feel as though I fully comprehend their connections and your intent. I've enjoyed the journey of discovery of the knowledge, but I'm sure you wanted more than that. With this kind of poem on here I wouldn't mind footnotes to help with some understanding especially when it comes to mythology.

Hope this is of some use