The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman

[TrevorConway]

Among the great exponents of science

are those who grapple hard for glory

and those who find it snatched away,

with names confined to dusty books,

brief mentions, at best;

and few, if any, hear their story:

 

Albert Schatz, for example,

was entranced by soil;

he mulched his way through masses of muck

and found a microbe he supposed

could halt the charge of tuberculosis.

Within a matter of months,

a saviour appeared: streptomycin.

 

His supervisor, one Selman Waksman,

assumed control of the clinical trials.

Waksman received a Nobel Prize,

and as for Schatz,

long after Waksman’s death,

he earned a kind of mangled amends:

the American Society for Microbiology

bestowed on him its highest award:

the Selman Waksman medal.

[Magpie]

Among the great exponents of science

are those who grapple hard for glory

and those who find it snatched away,

with names confined to dusty books,

brief mentions, at best;

and few, if any, hear their story: - don't need this stanza, the rest of the poem implies this

 

Albert Schatz, entranced by soil;  - this seems like a good starting point, I like the poetic language in this stanza

he mulched his way through masses of muck

and found a microbe he supposed

could halt the charge of tuberculosis.

Within a matter of months,

a saviour appeared: streptomycin.

 

His supervisor, one Selman Waksman,

assumed control of the clinical trials.

Waksman and received a Nobel Prize,

and As for Schatz,

long after Waksman’s death,

he earned a kind of mangled amends:

the American Society for Microbiology

bestowed on him its highest award:

the Selman Waksman medal,
named after the supervisor who... 

I like the story you've told here, i just feel as though it suffered from being too clinical, the repetition of Waksman didn't really help the last stanza and I think the poem would work better with the 'reveal' being right at the very end.

I had written a much more comprehensive reply but the internet stole it, so that's why this one may seem so brief.

[brynmawr1]

Among the great exponents of science

are those who grapple hard for glory

and those who find it snatched away,   these two lines are confusing mostly, I think cause 'grapple' might be considered a positive, maybe 'hunger' or similar

with names confined to dusty books,  their

brief mentions, at best;   could cut this line

and few, if any, hear their story:

 

Albert Schatz, for example,

was entranced by soil;

he mulched his way through masses of muck

and found a microbe he supposed

could halt the charge of tuberculosis.

Within a matter of months,

a saviour appeared: streptomycin.

 

His supervisor, one Selman Waksman,

assumed control of the clinical trials.

Waksman received a Nobel Prize,

and as for Schatz,

long after Waksman’s death,

he earned a kind of mangled amends:

the American Society for Microbiology

bestowed on him its highest award:

the Selman Waksman medal.

Hi Trevor,
Nice story and the ending lands IMO.  My only gripe is that I find the style to be overly prosaic.  It might work better as a prose poem.  Right now the line breaks are mainly for meter, as far as I can tell, as there is little enjambment or other significance to the breaks.  I have only vague inklings of how to make it more lyrical so no suggestions on that front for the moment.
Thanks for the read,
Bryn

[TrevorConway]

Hi Bryn and Magpie,

Thanks for the feedback on this. Much appreciated. I'll have a think about how to improve the tone and make it feel less long-winded/prosaic.

Trevor

[busker]

Among the great exponents of science

are those who grapple hard for glory

and those who find it snatched away,

with names confined to dusty books,

brief mentions, at best;

and few, if any, hear their story:

 

Albert Schatz, for example,

was entranced by soil;

he mulched his way through masses of muck

and found a microbe he supposed

could halt the charge of tuberculosis.

Within a matter of months,

a saviour appeared: streptomycin.

 

His supervisor, one Selman Waksman,

assumed control of the clinical trials.

Waksman received a Nobel Prize,

and as for Schatz,

long after Waksman’s death,

he earned a kind of mangled amends:

the American Society for Microbiology

bestowed on him its highest award:

the Selman Waksman medal.

Since you’re telling a tale - a didactic one at that - a ballad is fit for the task
But a ballad should have rhyming lines in stanzas that can be set to music. It is meant to be sung.
Give it a go.

[TrevorConway]

Hi Busker,

Thanks for your input. Yeah, I know the traditional poetic form of the ballad is very structured, with lots of rhyme, but I meant ballad in the broader sense that it seems to be used in some movie titles (essentially basically just meaning a story, I guess). As regards using the actual ballad form, who knows, I might try it sometime.

Cheers again,

Trevor

[busker]

Hi Busker,

Thanks for your input. Yeah, I know the traditional poetic form of the ballad is very structured, with lots of rhyme, but I meant ballad in the broader sense that it seems to be used in some movie titles (essentially basically just meaning a story, I guess). As regards using the actual ballad form, who knows, I might try it sometime.

Cheers again,

Trevor

This is not a question of tradition vs freedom
The poem above is not a poem. It lacks the brevity and punch that is always there with poetry, even free verse. This is prose. 
You need to figure out how to turn it into a poem. Adopting a structure is one way, but there are others.

[TrevorConway]

Hi everyone,

So, I've tried a revision of this in another form. Let me know what ye think, whether it wrks or just doesn't cut the mustard.

Thanks very much.


The Ballad of Schatz and Waksman


Albert Schatz, from Connecticut,
was a farmer’s son entranced by soil;
at university, he studied the stuff,
and found, after months of toil,
that what he long suspected was true:
a microbe found in a handful of dirt
produced an antibiotic that soon
would spare lives across the Earth.

His supervisor, a man by the name
of Selman Waksman, assumed control
of the clinical trials and, without shame,
claimed credit for the work he stole.
He also pilfered the patent rights
and made millions from all the doses
given to spluttering lungs to fight,
and indeed defeat, tuberculosis.

Waksman gained a Nobel Prize,
while Schatz earned no such dividends,
his work largely unrecognised
until he was given an ironic amends
that left him proud but also astounded:
a medal from the very university
that honoured the thief when it founded
the Waksman Institute of Microbiology.

[Mark A Becker]

So, I've tried a revision of this in another form. Let me know what ye think, whether it wrks or just doesn't cut the mustard.

Hello Trevor-
Clever, indeed, and I learned something along the way.

The rhyme scheme certainly works, yet I don't know if I could sing it very well.
... Mark

[TrevorConway]

Hi Mark,

Thanks very much for commenting. Great to get your feedback.

Trevor

So, I've tried a revision of this in another form. Let me know what ye think, whether it wrks or just doesn't cut the mustard.

Hello Trevor-
Clever, indeed, and I learned something along the way.

The rhyme scheme certainly works, yet I don't know if I could sing it very well. 
... Mark